Look, every one of the people who have thrown their hat in the protégé ring seems pleasant. Likable people all, polite callers, friendly, good-natured. But does even one of them have the stuff to take Tom's place in front of the microphone when he decides he can't stand us anymore? Will any of them have the flair, the pizzazz, the charisma to distract us from our loss when he turns his back on us? I'm sorry to say, I think not. Even with Tom's guidance, I don't believe that any of the current candidates will ever evolve into a powerful enough force to fill the void left by Tommy Tornado' passing.
So, who does? I have reflected on the problem at length (i.e., for about an hour while I was doing dishes earlier). Obviously, no one can do what Tom can do, so his successor has to bring something new yet equally compelling to the table. And I think I have come up with the only candidate who could possibly, not fill Tom's shoes, but come equipped with an entirely different style of footwear.
Who is this paragon? I hear you cry (I think you'll wonder why you didn't think of it yourselves when you hear).
My nomination is . . .
Big Timpani Drum Roll Sound EffectJULIE FROM CINCINNATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
