Build your own Storage Warrior

[BrotherBen]

In conjunction with a yet to be realized Storage Wars role-playing game, this thread is the place to crate and share your own character to compete in the Storage Wars universe.

name: Richie "Heartbreaker" Villacruz
hometown: Riverside, CA
catch phrase: "Shock to the system"
bid method: rattling a piece of sheet metal
area of expertise: car subwoofers
biggest score: June '08, U-Store-It, Oxnard - found an original Toho "Mothra" model behind a discolored mattress, $7500 to the right collector

[dave from knoxville]

name: "Dandy" Dave Vinson
hometown: Knoxville Tn
catch phrase: "DHARMA KARMA"
bid method: spit take
area of expertise: Pop Culture items, years 1973 - first three months of 1974
biggest score: Accidentally stumbling upon a mason jar containing 1374 gold fillings from unspecified sources, after bidding $5200 on a locker that seemed to contain Yes and Blue Oyster Cult paraphenalia, all of which turned out to be water-damaged

[thom]

name: Clinton "Little Debbie" Clinton
hometown: Macon, GA
catch phrase: "Total cakewalk."
bid method: casual limp-fingered military salute
area of expertise: Grocery novelties
biggest score: A winning bid of $2200 on an assumedly PACKED locker of discontinued breakfast cereals revealed only out of print designs of in-production cereal. His precise arrangement and organization of the entire contents of the locker delighted the eyes of a curator at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta, and "Little Debbie" was paid $45,000 through donations and grants for a show at the gallery. He completed his gallery work in less than 24 hours, calling it a "total cakewalk."

[BrotherBen]

name: Stephan "The Horned Magus" DeCastro
home town: Los Angeles, CA
catch phrase: "So mote it be!"
bid method: stroking his pointed beard while raising one eyebrow
area of expertise: ancient grimoires, talismans of the dark arts, Templar Knight artifacts, Beanie Babies
biggest score: discovered instructions for summoning the dark lord Azarel inside a box of old Readers Digest back issues - traded for a sweet ATV

[casualobserver]

name: "Blind" Wendall Wyands
home town: Newland, NC
catch phrase: "the soundtrack drives the action"
bid method: extended manzello solo
area of expertise: able to determine the precise contents of a locked safe using only a tuning fork
biggest score: a comprehensive collection of smutty Hard Rock Cafe lapel pins; traded to another storage warrior for six Louis Malle films on LaserDisc

[buffcoat]

Avery County represent!

[shrugsy]

name: Doug Trendowski "The Trend"
home town: Chicopee, MA
catch phrase: "Let's get ready to dance!"
bid method: activates Steely Dan alarm watch
area of expertise: can appraise artwork, posters and prints inside a closed unit via a handheld GPS receiver and an astrology chart
biggest score: live siberian tiger hidden inside what looked like a covered vintage convertible (it was a nest made of paint cans under a tarp)

[Jason from Huntsville, AL]

name: Conway "Person of Interest" McFee
hometown: Lagrange, GA
catch phrase: "If you feel froggy JUMP!"
bid method: slides finger across throat
area of expertise: alcohol, tobacco & firearms
biggest score: a "sleeping"* Peter Criss


*(Quotes suggested by Buffcoat.)

[Lawrence Orbach]

These are all gold. Keep 'em coming!

[shrugsy]

name: Alfred "Tough Guy" Goldberg
home town: El Cerrito, CA
catch phrase: "These lockers are making me thirsty!"
bid method: giving crazy eye
area of expertise: can price action figures by smell
biggest score: $40,000 in negotiable T-Bills hidden inside a soiled Pringles can

[Barry in Ireland]

name: Jeb "The Perfessor" Spit
home town: Hanover, NH.
catch phrase: "I can feel it in my waters."
bid method: Air-horn
area of expertise: Superhero comics that do not feature superheroes.
biggest score: Storage locker filled floor to ceiling with cans of discontinued WD-41 and Duct-Felt.

[Jason from Huntsville, AL]

I'm calling it, even though it's only February: THREAD OF THE YEAR.

YUUUUUP!

[dave from knoxville]

I'm calling it, even though it's only February: THREAD OF THE YEAR.

YUUUUUP!

DHARMA KARMA

[buffcoat]

name: Conway "Person of Interest" McFee
hometown: Lagrange, GA
catch phrase: "If you feel froggy JUMP!"
bid method: slides finger across throat
area of expertise: alcohol, tobacco & firearms
biggest score: a sleeping Peter Criss

Very funny. 

Maybe there should be quotes around "sleeping."

[andyfromknoxville]

Name: Andy "Slick Ricky" Vinson
Hometown: Knoxville, TN
Catch Phrase: "Scopophilians Unite!"
Bid Method: Throw rock at previous bidder.
Area of Expertise: 1970's carpet samples. Ceramic frogs.
Biggest Score: 1998 Sports Illustrated Swim suit edition.