Even though it's been over a week I'm still thinking about Ebert and what he meant to me, as much as a film critic/celebrity I've never met can mean to someone.
I went through a pretty tough time of things after college. I moved back home with my parents and wasn't sure of what I would do in my life. I ended up dating a girl that was absolutely devastating. She was the younger sister of a really good friend of mine. She was the first girl I ever was in love with but when it ended, it was the absolute worst. I won't go into details in case I ever get into writing my own book but she did a very good job of destroying my life, which was her intent and purposes. It ended up ruining the friendship with her brother and another one of my friends. I ended up cutting out an entire circle of friends from my life in order to get away from that whole situation and it completely sucked. On top of it, I also had a rebound girlfriend and I not-so-unconsciously exacted my revenge on her. At many points during this awful stretch of my life, I woke up and went to bed every morning thinking I was the absolute worst person alive.
I went to a psychatrist/therapist type person for the first time. It was a terrific, life-altering experience. He taught me that it was okay to be depressed and that, no, I wasn't a bad person but there were ways I could make myself feel like a better person. One of the things he suggested was that I find a hobby that was easy enough to get into that could take over my thoughts as opposed to constantly worried about girls and the unknown that is my life.
It was right around then the AFI Top 100 list came out. I decided to dive into that list and start watching as many of those movies as I could. I then started reading reviews of these movies. I obviously knew who Roger Ebert was but always assumed he was just a celebrity without any depth. I had absolutely no idea that he was the greatest film critic of all-time, and what set him apart was that he knew movies were more than just movies for a lot of people. He helped explain that to me -- film could create an entire new world for us and give us experiences and, more importantly, give people hope that there are better things out there. (And that it was terrific to rip people apart, too.)
I saw The Iron Giant in the movies around this time. I was working at nights (covering school board meetings for a crappy weekly newspaper) so I went to a lot of matinees by myself. I had no idea what The Iron Giant was about -- I didn't even know it was a cartoon; it was just the next movie on the schedule -- and I ended up bawling my eyes out. I went home and read Ebert's review and saw he loved it, too. There was something really comforting about that.
So, thanks, Roger Ebert. You have no idea that your words meant so much to me at an awful time in my life.