FOT Forum
The Best Show on WFMU => Show Discussion => Topic started by: Laurie on October 10, 2007, 12:05:19 PM
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Old ladies! I don't want to know every detail about your bunions, corns, or any other ailments of the feet or other body parts.
KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.
(I know this is a cliché, but our department's teller is a vieja and does this all the time. Ew.)
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Cute things your kid says. I know you think they're cute and/or entertaining, but I don't share your fascination with your child's every utterance.
Keep it to yourself!
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Do not perform an entire comedian's routine, or one of their bits for me. If I really want to see it, I'll see it from the source, not from someone who is laughing like a hyena while they're telling me the bit.
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or if you're going to tell a story about your kid (some cuteness or some new ear infection) at least have the courtesy not to repeat the same story -word for word- to every co-worker who stops by your desk. when i share an office with you i really don't need to hear the same story six times.
KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!
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Do not perform an entire comedian's routine, or one of their bits for me. If I really want to see it, I'll see it from the source, not from someone who is laughing like a hyena while they're telling me the bit.
the same goes for reciting lines from family guy, south park, aqua teen hunger force, etc.
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I couldn't listen live. But if I did I would have said:
TV watchers who give me a hard time that I don't watch TV anymore....Keep it to yourself. (That includes you Tom)
I'm not an enemy of the TV. Go ahead, enjoy it. I won't act high and mighty about it. I just have an addictive personality and lack the ability to do anything in moderation. So I had to cut TV loose, or else I'd never get my life on track.
What's so great about TV anyway? It's no match for the power...of imagination.
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1. intestinal gas
2. anything about your religion
KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.
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Poor people! Boo-hoo, you don't have any money. Waah, you lost your job. Keep it to yourself!
Am I right!
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If I am related to you, I want to know nothing about your sex life. NOTHING.
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I typed a bunch of dumb stuff on the chat last night hoping people would tell me to keep it to myself, but nobody did. Kind of disappointing. :(
Could someone please tell me to keep this post to myself? I'd be much obliged.
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Ooh, Jane, tell me more!
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Excessive apologies. If you can't forgive yourself, who else is going to forgive you?
Keep it to yourself!
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No, Grote-esque, yer supposed to tell me to keep stuff to myself.
...but if you insist, ok, apparently, Super Dave could be somewhat difficult at times. That's what I heard and that's all I'm sayin'. But, I mean, the guy is under a lot of pressure, right?
On another note,
Emerson sighting!!!!!!!!! Coooooool!
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finishing sentences for people before they've completed a thought in an attempt to convey that you are relating to them so hard.....
Let me finish! oh wait....Keep it to yourself!
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People whining about things they'd rather not hear other people talk about - Keep It To Yourself!
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Repeating something someone said back to them in the form of a question. For example:
Speaker 1: I'm going to head out now.
Speaker 2: You're gonna head out now?
Speaker 1: Yeah. (That's what I just said, dummy, and you obviously heard me because you just repeated it back to me almost verbatim.)
SAVE IT.
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Might be kind of obvious, but professors who list off literally ALL of their past accomplishments upon introducing themselves to the class. It's vaguely impressive that you wrote 7 books on the history of upstate NY's health care facilities, it really is...but to physically bring them in and read excerpts from them is desperate. I don't mind anyone sharing some personal stuff and even a few credentials...it can put everyone at ease, but honestly...have some dignity. This also goes for students who feel the need to mention 40 times that they're double majoring in History and Japanese while maintaining a 3.5 average. Keep it to yourself.
Also, English professors (not sure if this is familiar to other English majors), save the dramatic, self-important diatribes about the endless sea of opportunity getting an English degree opens us up to. It's true that it's a broad subject and does present you with a bunch more options than your average major, but you cannot be an astronaut with an English degree alone. The one person you have in mind who became an astronaut with an English degree would've became and astronaut without it, and by no means represents the average English major. Keep it to yourself.
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Might be kind of obvious, but professors who list off literally ALL of their past accomplishments upon introducing themselves to the class.
Does this mean I should stop telling my classes that I was an astronaut?
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No, Grote-esque, yer supposed to tell me to keep stuff to myself.
...but if you insist, ok, apparently, Super Dave could be somewhat difficult at times. That's what I heard and that's all I'm sayin'. But, I mean, the guy is under a lot of pressure, right?
On another note,
Emerson sighting!!!!!!!!! Coooooool!
I'm all ears, Jane! Keep it up!
For some reason I imagine myself speaking as Charles Nelson Reilly.
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Tim the ambulance driver offering up, "If you can't say it English, don't say it at all."
Really? Nice talk for an emergency responder. What is this, Bringing Out the Dead?
Tell you what, honk real loud when you run the red light; otherwise, keep it to yourself.
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This is a specific one but still applies. So I was throwing a bachelor party for my brother and all of the guests chipped in money and knew that ahead of time. One of the guys agreed to come, was totally excited about the actual get together, but for the 2 months leading into it would constantly tell me about his crappy money situation and kept giving me updates on his money saving progress. I say if you're struggling with money but insist on coming, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.
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You who've stepped outside of your country ONCE in your life and can't stop acting like a world traveler- KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!
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Keep your self-deprecating, complement-fishing whining to yourself.
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Smokers.
End of story.
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How about non-smokers who want to tell me how horrible it is that I smoke WHEN I DON'T EVEN SMOKE NEAR THEM?? OR, even better, when I smoke in one of the few places where I'm still allowed to do so.
That's pretty fuckin sweet.
Oh wait, no it's not. KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.
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People who respond to other people being vegetarian with "I could never be vegetarian. I love meat! I can't help it, I'm carnivorous!"*
Who asked you?!
KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.
*I'm not even a vegetarian and this sort of thing drives me up the wall.
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Trying to explain why somethings funny (no, see, you don't get it. Its funny because...)
Keep it to yourself!
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People who start sentences with "I heard this on NPR the other day..." should REALLY keep it to themselves.
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werner herzog haterz
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I wish Jane would post some more about Super Dave.
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there's a guy in my town who has odd social skills to say the least. anyway he is internet dating a girl from england, who also happens to be incontinent. basically, he tells everyone that his girlfriend is incontinent.
incontinent internet girlfriend? keep it to yourself.
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Incontinent and not Continental.
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Incontinent and not Continental.
yes.
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guess what jane rules
CAN'T KEEP IT TO MYSELF!
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I forgot this one: There was an older, fratty dude sitting at the table adjacent to my brunch group last Sunday. I was trying to enjoy my marscapone and peach stuffed french toast in honey and walnut sauce, and my friend was trying to eat her very berry pancakes with Cointreau fresh cream and a Nutella drizzle. But no. We had to hear about this dude's bedroom adventures with Ms. Miami City Ballet. Keep it to yourself, overgrown fratboy!
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Here's another one: students who "friend" me on Facebook and have profile pics of themselves in various states of undress. I'm talking to you, Robert! Keep your nipples to yourself!
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You know, they really do let anyone on Facebook these days. I recently got a friend request from the head of Alt-Porn at Vivid and friend-o-mine.
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Doesn't Vivid have accredited university status now?
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You brought up facebook, so I'm tossing this one in the ring:
People who post bulletins on myspace informing everyone of their new photos and to 'comment!!' It's not cute.
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You brought up facebook, so I'm tossing this one in the ring:
People who post bulletins on myspace informing everyone of their new photos and to 'comment!!' It's not cute.
Yes!
Also, keep your gambling stories to yourself. Nobody cares that you were dealt two sixes, then split them, then we're dealt two fives, blah blah blah.
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guess what jane rules
CAN'T KEEP IT TO MYSELF!
aw, shucks, thanks, Josh, but I'll bet you say that to all the GLOT (Glamorous Ladies Of Tom).
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Sitting in a big McCartney Purple Chair in Starbucks, reading "Darwin's Dangerous Idea" and being interrupted by a 23-year-old, John-from-Cincinnati rasta who is wearing a silver silkscreen SuperMan shirt (with the "S" allowing enough of the word "Jesus" to peek through on the left and right).
"Excuse me. Excuse me, man. Did anybody ever tell you that you look like James Hetfield?"
God, I hope not. Keep it to yourself. (Even though you seem to be a sweet young man).