FOT Forum
The Best Show on WFMU => Show Discussion => Topic started by: KickTheBobo on March 28, 2008, 03:13:59 PM
-
I don't know why Tom has to get all down on the good folks at NPR. A story like this one really makes me appreciate the old black guy that sweeps up at work after everyone goes home. I've talked to that guy a few times, and boy is he WISE! Here's another life-affirming tidbit from our listener-supported brethren:
Man to mugger in the Bronx: "If you're going to be robbing people for the rest of the night, you might as well take my coat to keep you warm."
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=89164759 (http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=89164759)
-
That story is bullshit.
-
This smarmy feel-good shit makes me wanna spew.
-
Sir, you can either have my wallet and coat or allow me to treat you to dinner (with a side of bonhomie).
- Julio Diaz, TLC Killer II
-
That story is bullshit.
Egads, I hope so. That is sickening on all kinds of levels. Maybe the topic should read "An imaginary stroy from NPR"
-
I can't believe I still feel a little angry about this story. It just...it reads like one of those bullshit stories politicians, preachers and the like tell to manipulate their listeners.
-
That story is bullshit.
Egads, I hope so. That is sickening on all kinds of levels. Maybe the topic should read "An imaginary stroy from NPR"
Yes! Imaginary!!
(http://www.hbo.com/thewire/img/castcrew/character_season05/character/scotttempleton.jpg)
-
Some possible outcomes of this story:
-Kid learns valuable lesson: now knows about the nature of human kindness - takes lesson to heart, becomes social worker, pastor or teacher to help others like him.
-Kid learns valuable lesson: now knows when you rob a guy, don't just walk away from him, run to avoid being caught and being made to feel badly about robbing guy.
-Kid learns valuable lesson: now knows where guy gets dinner all the time, repeatedly robs him outside of diner.
-
If he was the one who took this story to the press (and really, who else would do it?) then his kindness was self-serving.
-
I'm not saying anything new here, but as someone who has been robbed three times (once at gunpoint, once at implied gunpoint, and once with simple "I may not have a gun but I will tear your testicles off if you don't hand it over" bravado), this story is clearly nonsense on stilts.
-
this story is clearly nonsense on stilts.
What, are you Jeremy Bentham?
-
I'm not saying anything new here, but as someone who has been robbed three times (once at gunpoint, once at implied gunpoint, and once with simple "I may not have a gun but I will tear your testicles off if you don't hand it over" bravado), this story is clearly nonsense on stilts.
Jeez. Man up, JFM.
-
I remember I got robbed in Connecticut
it sucks.
-
Wes, you forgot the obvious one:
-Kid learns valuable lesson: When robbing, it is acceptable to also ask for clothing, including jackets, pants, and even shoes.
And the fact that after saying this, the robber responded "Shut the fuck up" or with a simple pistolwhip.
-
Why, Oh Why, Would You Offer Me Your Coat?
total bullshit.
-
Why, Oh Why, Would You Offer Me Your Coat?
Awesome reference. I wonder if the robber had a look of consternation as he said that.
-
I'm not saying anything new here, but as someone who has been robbed three times (once at gunpoint, once at implied gunpoint, and once with simple "I may not have a gun but I will tear your testicles off if you don't hand it over" bravado), this story is clearly nonsense on stilts.
Is Maplewood that sketchy these days? I've seen some rough looking types in Roma Pizza but never thought crime would run so amuck.
-
I'm not saying anything new here, but as someone who has been robbed three times (once at gunpoint, once at implied gunpoint, and once with simple "I may not have a gun but I will tear your testicles off if you don't hand it over" bravado), this story is clearly nonsense on stilts.
Is Maplewood that sketchy these days? I've seen some rough looking types in Roma Pizza but never thought crime would run so amuck.
Since you ask, I have to say that my robberies definitely had a feel-good, NPR side to them (or maybe a New York Times Metropolitan Diary side to them...as horrible as that sounds). And as odd as these sound, these are not made up.
So, I was robbed three times, once in L.A. and twice in N.Y. And from my three data points, I have to say that N.Y. muggers are nicer than L.A. muggers.
THE L.A. ROBBERY - I had moved to Los Angeles in 1992 to find work in the music industry (that didn't work). Drive across the country to get there. Got out of my car. Walked one block to my brother's apartment. He comes back to the car with me to unpack it. Guy pulls a gun on us and robs us. As he is rfling through my pockets, he says "That better be everything or I'm going to blow you the fuck away." When he's done, he says "Start walking and don't look back."
THE FIRST N.Y. ROBBERY - Circa 1995, I walk over the Queensboro Bridge to the Queens side and ask the first person I see how to get to the G Train. He puts his arm around me and gives me directions, but then adds "You know where you are? You're at the first bus stop after Ryker's Island. Me and my boy over there just got out. So why don't you give me what's in your wallet or my friend is gonna 'pop a cap in your ass.'" I give him what's in my wallet, after which he repeats the directions to the subway. In a panic, I tell the subway tollbooth guy what happened and he said "What did you expect? You're a white boy in shorts."
THE SECOND N.Y. ROBBERY - Circa 1999, I walk into the subway station at Times Square. I man rolls up on me, pushing me with his chest and loudly demands that I hand it over. I hand him the eight-or-so bucks in my wallet, but then I tell him that I have no cash for the subway and could he please give me a few bucks back. He does.
This is all true, although I am not 100% on the N.Y. robbery years. From the L.A. mugger, I get a gun in my back. From the N.Y. muggers, I get directions and change for the subway.
-
awesome Jon. I like the attire rebuke from the transitman. Really, what'dya expect wearing shorts, aside from a mugging?
-
Did the guy look sketchy when you asked for directions? Because announcing to a stranger, "I'm not from around here and don't know where I'm going!" was a pretty bad decision, no offense.
-
Did the guy look sketchy when you asked for directions? Because announcing to a stranger, "I'm not from around here and don't know where I'm going!" was a pretty bad decision, no offense.
What can I say? I try to assume the best in people. And 99% of the time, I'm right. This time, I was wrong.
-
This time, I was wrong.
Dead wrong.
-
When I got mugged it was in Baltimore. There was no NPR bright side at all.
My friends and I get out of a car and start walking towards their apartment. Three dudes ask us for directions. They look sheepish and sketchy. We give them directions and start to walk away and then all of the sudden I'm in a choke hold. I should explain, it was pretty dark out, and I was carrying a video camera that I borrowed from college. I immediately drop the video camera on the ground. The guy is sort of holding me hostage as his buddies grab my other friends. There is an implied gun but I don't think there was an actual gun. But the choke hold was actually choking me, so that's something. The only guy the dudes don't grab (3 against 4 here) is the biggest guy among us, who is sort of blackmailed into getting on the ground. I literally have 83 cents in my wallet, which for some reason I decide I should throw on the ground. My choke-holder did not respond positively to this. Actually he was like "Don't fuck with me!" and then I tried to explain to him, while choking, that I really was broke. Eventually the biggest guy among us was like "Uh, I have 15 dollars in my wallet, you can have it. He doesn't have any money." Then they got their huge bounty, which was like 20 bucks, kicked the smallest guy among us in the ribs, and ran away. We called the cops and tried to describe them as African Americans. In the squad car the cop explained to us that around here they were nothing but *N-bomb*s, and we should refer to them as such, which I thought was kind of intense since the city is like 60% black. Sometimes I'd think that the dudes looked more scared than us, but then I'd remember that guy closing off my windpipe for 85 cents and would be like "No they weren't."
I'm also wondering if the warmth this kid gets out of the coat Mr. Nice Guy gave him allows him to have the stamina to go on to assault someone at an ATM and then light a homeless guy on fire or something.
-
What's Tom's quote from a few months back?
"You don't ______ a mugger, you fight a mugger. At least, I do."
-
Why, Oh Why, Would You Offer Me Your Coat?
Awesome reference. I wonder if the robber had a look of consternation as he said that.
we got the start of a Metropolitan Dairies entry somebody grab their info let's fire off a email.
-
The story really does sound like an inverted Brock Peuchk, the more I think about it. The kid should have been wearing a ski mask in the diner.
Another possible outcome of this story: the kid was being compelled to rob because the knife he had was haunted by the ghost of a murderer and thief, and now that the guy has his knife, the ghost will now possess him, instead. I saw something like that in a movie once, so it can happen.
-
I talked my way out of two muggings, one with a gun (or a facsimilie of one) to my head in New Orleans. What can I say? I'm a people person.
-
I talked my way out of two muggings, one with a gun (or a facsimilie of one) to my head in New Orleans. What can I say? I'm a people person.
Mike's gambit: "You don't want to mug me! Now, have you heard of Werner Herzog?"
-
I was jacked/mugged probably 50 times between the ages of 11 and 16. The final time I fought (not well enough to stop the mugger). However, I think I carried myself like someone who might fight back after that. (Though most likely it was that puberty had made me grow to the point where it wasn't worth it).
Never was there an NPR spin to it.
However, once I was borrowing an RPG computer game (Might & Magic 6 I think) from a friend and I was so worried that the guys would take it and I'd have to replace the $50 game. They went through my backpack and to my surprise they said they already had the game (this was in the 386 era when computers weren't so ubiquitous) and had beaten it.
-
I talked my way out of two muggings, one with a gun (or a facsimilie of one) to my head in New Orleans. What can I say? I'm a people person.
I got the opposite problem. I've talked my way into two beatings.
-
"a white boy in shorts."
The Jon From Maplewood Story
-
i was mugged 6 years ago, it was soon after i moved to chicago. i had come off the farm in iowa looking to start the city life. my buddy and i were walking home and we cut down a street where the the street lights weren't working. when we started down the street we were talking about the possibility of it being a poor decision. but we were in a good mood and didn't think any more of it. half way down the block we see two guys run out of a door and jump behind a tree. we started to walk faster, but not fast enough. as we pass the tree the guys jump out and grab us from behind. they were shorter than us, but they nearly lifted of us off the ground. they were screaming for our money, threatening to cut us if we didn't had it over. i had an empty matchbook and some lint in my pockets, i had just purchased some tacos with the last of my cash. my buddy had $1.50 in quarters (for laundry) and a bag of weed in his pockets. i pulled my pockets out to show i had nothing and my buddy gave them his laundry money. that was enough for them and they let us go. as we get to the end of the block we hear one of the muggers say to other "why did we do that, they weren't doing anything". to which the other guy yells at us "sorry dudes, i just wanted a dollar to by a blunt!". being a good midwesterner i told them not to worry about it.
my car was recently broken into. they stole all of my parking tickets, the title/registration and my spring jacket.
-
I was jacked/mugged probably 50 times between the ages of 11 and 16...
...However, once I was borrowing an RPG computer game (Might & Magic 6 I think) from a friend...
No surprises here, I'm afraid.
-
Not really a mugging story per se, but it kinda fits in with this thread's theme of funny or unusual things happening in connection with a robbery. Someone told me this story back in high school, and I have a pretty hard time believing it really happened (it smacks of urban legend, especially since it was told to me as something that happened to a friend of a friend), but it was presented as a true story:
This guy carried a large quantity of change in his car, probably for tolls or parking meters or laundry or something. Probably $10-$20 worth of change at a time. Fairly regularly, probably about once a week, the guy would get in his car after work to find that the car had been broken into and the change stolen. After a few times, he finally stopped refilling the change after each theft. Before getting out at the beginning of his next work day, he left a note in plain view that said something like "There is no change in here, so please don't break into my car." When he got back in the car after work, there was a note inside that said "Just checking."
-
Been jumped/assaulted once in broad daylight. The guys hit so weakly that it really mostly left me feeling angry and entertaining uncharacteristically violent revenge fantasies for the next couple days.
Another attempted mugging was equally half-hearted. Honestly I don't believe I looked like a guy who would have much money, but in this case I actually had about $400 in tip money on me. I managed to flee and they just laughed and taunted me.
-
Not really a mugging story per se, but it kinda fits in with this thread's theme of funny or unusual things happening in connection with a robbery. Someone told me this story back in high school, and I have a pretty hard time believing it really happened (it smacks of urban legend, especially since it was told to me as something that happened to a friend of a friend), but it was presented as a true story:
This guy carried a large quantity of change in his car, probably for tolls or parking meters or laundry or something. Probably $10-$20 worth of change at a time. Fairly regularly, probably about once a week, the guy would get in his car after work to find that the car had been broken into and the change stolen. After a few times, he finally stopped refilling the change after each theft. Before getting out at the beginning of his next work day, he left a note in plain view that said something like "There is no change in here, so please don't break into my car." When he got back in the car after work, there was a note inside that said "Just checking."
Yeah, I heard that one. But to make you feel better, I also thought it was true. My dad told it to me. If my dad lied about this, what else has he lied about?
-
I got very mildly mugged by three guys in Italy. They got a scrap of paper that had my "to-do" list on it.
-
Did they take care of everything on it?
-
Did they take care of everything on it?
They were Italians. Not Germans.
-
Did they take care of everything on it?
They were Italians. Not Germans.
If I remember correctly, it included "Buy canvas, do laundry, pick up pastries", which were all completed in leisurely Italian time. I also was chased across a bridge and into a few backalleys by a grunting maniac in Italy. And my girlfriend at the time was either molested or assaulted every time she rode the train by herself. Lovable country.
-
Italian boys were pretty "friendly" when I was over there. They know no shame. But everyone else was really nice in a non-predator sort of way. I still love Italy, regardless.
-
I never had any trouble in Milan. In Rome, I was actually pinched. It was funny: the friend with whom I was staying--a blonde--was mercilessly hounded in Paris (by Arabs; the Africans preferred me; the French were uninterested in both of us); in Italy, everyone ignored her and went for me. Odd.
-
Those stories gross me out so much - is that stuff really tolerated? I always imagine going over there and getting thrown in jail because I put every groping creep on the subway in wheelchairs.
-
Ladies put up with quite a bit even in this country, todd.
-
When I was gearing up for my big European adventure, my mom told me that she and her friend Mitzi were pawed at and chased by these big brutes in Rome. They followed them back to their pension room and banged on their door for twenty minutes. Scary!
I thought, Hey, that was thirty years ago. Surely things have changed.
Not so much. >:(
-
My girlfriend got felt up on the bus in Rome at age 14 or something.
-
my car was broken into lastnight, the second time in two weeks. there was nothing stolen this time. they did however break my ignition switch (car still runs). i don't mind if a person needs to get out of the elements at night, please sit in my car. but the least you can do is leave the car how you found it.
-
I got hit on more in four days in Paris than I do in a month in NYC. & I'm no beauty. At one point I had a Spanish tour guide following me around the Sacre Coeur. I love travel, I like traveling alone, I do not like going to a restaurant twice and having the waiter assume that means I want him to propose. I figured I had some badass armor built around me, all these years riding the subway, but at least in New York you can stare people down and they understand it's not an invitation.
Although by far the best was when I traveled to China & a young man on a motorbike ran into a tree while gawking at my, you know, assets.
-
i don't mind if a person needs to get out of the elements at night, please sit in my car.
Really?? You're a lot more mellow than I am. Are you in your early twenties by any chance?
-
25
-
Not early enough. I'll have to chalk it up to your actual personality and not my dumb now-I'm-thirty ageism.
But seriously? You're cool with people crashing out in your car?
Where do you live?
-
Not early enough. I'll have to chalk it up to your actual personality and not my dumb now-I'm-thirty ageism.
But seriously? You're cool with people crashing out in your car?
Where do you live?
probably not los angeles
-
You're cool with people crashing out in your car?
Where do you live?
until i get a car with doors that lock, let'em in! other than the occasional new smell in my car, it doesn't bother me. i paid $200 two years ago for the car.
chicago