Alton Brown is on my "S" list

[Laurie]

I like Alton Brown, I do, but GAAAAHHHH. Seriously, I made noises JUST like Bryce does when he gets all rampagey, you know?

I made one batch of chocolate fudge following his recipe, and it worked like a charm. My candy thermometer broke halfway through my second batch, and it got scorched and had to be tossed. My third attempt was too liquidy and didn't firm up even after I let it sit overnight. And my fourth batch? It was like that astronaut ice cream crap -- hard and dry.

Awful. The first batch is still good to pass out to my workmates, but I had to be economical with the packaging of the fudge. I have about 75 pieces distributed among eight tins. Next year, I'm going to the Fresh Market, buying something, stripping away the packaging and pretending I made it. Fuuuuuuuck.

[Andy]

Next year, I'm going to the Fresh Market, buying something, stripping away the packaging and pretending I made it. Fuuuuuuuck.

my wife and I did this with Caramel candy one year.  also, I left the fuuuuck because I thought it was funny.

you never realize how much precision candy making takes until you try to do it without a thermometer.  My dad used to screw up about 5 batches of caramel every year, last year we got him a candy thermometer and now every batch is perfect.

[Laurie]

I did use a thermometer! It's just an unreliable piece of crap from Williams-Sonoma.

[Andy]

is it the digital one with the stainless steel cover?  that's the one my dad uses.

I think humidity can also fuck it up pretty good if you're not careful.

[Laurie]

is it the digital one with the stainless steel cover?  that's the one my dad uses.

I think humidity can also fuck it up pretty good if you're not careful.

Yes, that's the one. And yes, I remember Alton Brown saying something about humidity being a whorebitch from hell. I'm not certain if he used those words.

I just checked weather.com. The humidity in my zip code is at 84%. And it's been raining.

Waaaahhhh. I think I'll stick to baking from now on. I'm really, really good at baking.

[kenkwan]

Also, I'm never going to make my own Croutons, breadcrumbs, or Macaroni and Cheese.

[Sarah]

But homemade croutons, bread crumbs, and macaroni and cheese are so easy to make--and so much tastier than store-bought.  I can't imagine settling for the swill one can buy ready-made.

[Laurie]

Seriously, though, those bread crumbs from Fresh Market are soooo good. I incorporated them into my cornbread stuffing last year, and it was divine.

[Tyrannosaurus Rocks]

I always make pralines if I'm doing candy, because if it doesn't solidify just right, it's still good as a hard candy or as an ice cream topping.

Also: I'm gonna make me some mac and cheese. Right now.

[Andy]

after talking to my sister (who almost went to culinary academy) she thinks the humidity was the problem for sure.

and btw, we used that Williams Sonoma thermometer to make 3 batches of caramel tonight and they all turned out perfect.  My are is sore from stirring, though.