What you say/What I hear

[iAmBaronVonTito]

what you say: you're really pretty.
what i hear: i'm drunk.

[erika]

Oh you shouldn't think that way...

[Sarah]

what you say: you're really pretty.

And its near-twin "you're really cute," which is even more unbelievable than "you're really pretty" (speaking for myself, of course; not you, Baron).  Also (again for me), "Come on, you can't be more than thirty."

what i hear: i'm drunk.

Alternatively, "I'm horny to the point of desperation."

[iAmBaronVonTito]

i know, i know.  

truthfully, i'm not into self-deprecation but when they havent said one word to me, then they come stumbling over three sheets to the wind, i have serious...doubts.  plus, i'm obviously leaving out several leading factors.

[Martin]

What I say: "So how do you know Jess & Phil?"
What she hears: "This is a wedding. I need to get laid."

 

[Fido]

What I said to my second cousin at my grandmother's funeral:  "You're looking great!"

What I think she heard: An inappropriate comment. And from a relative?!?!  What is the deal with him?

What I meant: You're obviously in great shape and for someone our age, the years really haven't changed you much. I congratulate you.

Probably could have handled that better!