Things-I-Don't-Like Cocktails

[John Junk]

...wherein two or more things I already didn't like are put together to make another thing I don't like.  The weird thing about this: Though I also don't like the third thing, I don't necessarily not like it as much as one thing I don't like doubled.  It's more like the two things I don't like combine and make a thing I don't like that has its own reasons for why I don't like it as its own thing.  Thus, it is a cocktail.

First, there was Alanis Morisette covering "My Humps". 

Now this: What makes me squirm more than "Lil Bush"?  The Decemberists.  Put them together and you get this crappy, no-laugh nonsense: http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/page/news/44402-colin-meloy-to-play-smart-jeb-on-lil-bush

[Fido]

1.  Pittsburgh + enormous amounts of greasy French fries = The "O" in Oakland, a crappy neighborhood fast food place in the 'Burgh

2.  E Network + stupid celebrities and their bad behavior = All of E's awful programming.  Blleeeeeeccccchhhh!

3.  Bob Saget 1.0 + pointless obscenity and profanity = Bob Saget 2.0

Last weekend at a bar, I ordered a scotch for myself and a ginger ale for my boyfriend.  The bartender misunderstood me because the music was too damn loud.  So he poured one drink, combining two things I love that should never be combined:  Scotch and ginger ale.  Don't try this.  It's a waste of both perfectly good ginger ale, which is a delightful thing to have at this time of year, and scotch, which is delightful to have period. 

It's like "milk beer":  Milk and beer are both perfectly good beverages that should never be combined, ever. 

And then there's ammonia and bleach, which should never be combined, ever, nor should they ever be beverages. 

[TL]

While I fully acknowledge and agree with all of the problematic issues it is possible to have with "Li'l Bush," including the fact that it's easy and JUST NOT FUNNY, I still can't help but get a li'l chuckle out of the Li'l Bush character himsef.  I guess that ultimately has more to do with how ridiculous Biggie Bush and his mannerisms are, than any triumph of the show, though.

That said, there are basically 4 foods that I don't like and they wind up in everything: cilantro, walnuts, pecans, and bell peppers.  I can thankfully say that I've never had all four of them together, but there is one cocktail that I've ecountered that fills me with horror: cilantro-walnut pesto.  Beside the fact that it's an intense combination of two things I hate, no self-respecting Italian could suffer such a concoction actually being called a "pesto."  Let's just call it what it is: a paste.
A cruddy, soap and bark flavored paste.

 

On the drink front, I can't say I've ever had a scotch and ginger ale, and I don't much want to try it, but bourbon and ginger ale is a well known combo, and there is such a thing as a "whiskey mac," which is whiskey and Stone's ginger wine.  I'm personally not a huge fan of that one either, but...  just playing Devil's Advocate for the bartender.

[Sarah]

Gin and ginger all the way, TL.  (OT, JJ--sorry.)

[kenkwan]

Bourbon + ginger ale = delicious
Bourbon + Tonic = delicious (I call it a Guttenberg)
Bourbon + Tea = awful

[Laurie]

Fries + gravy. Poutine is the devil's work, you nutty Canucks.

[TL]

Fries + gravy. Poutine is the devil's work, you nutty Canucks.

Eh, sorry Filthy, but I can't get with you on that.  Gravy fries are also a Jersey diner staple, and though I don't eat 'em any more, the very thought of them, to me, is like a Madeline to Proust...   

[John Junk]

Throw some melted mozzarella cheese on top of those gravy and fries and you got "Disco Fries" (Jersey!) which were responsible for one of the worst stomach aches I've ever had at the Seven Brothers Diner off Route 46.

[TL]

Ah Disco Fries, a/k/a "Muzz Fries" - sensations of Willie's Diner in Bloomfield, the Ritz in Livingston, and the Tick-Tock in Clifton come cascading back in sheets of greasy rain...



"Eat Heavy" - ugh.

[Jason]

Alcohol + Anything = Fine by me.