I like A, I like B, but I HATE A+B

[John Junk]

Wow man, I avoid Dane Cook in general, and I sometimes start to think that he can't be as bad as people say, but then I watch some video on this thread and I realize all over again that this guy eats more shit than the entire cast of Encino Man.

[Andy]

I like sex

I like cats

Sex with cats: not so good

(you knew some variation of this joke was coming.  I wanted to head it off in order to ensure it was a "sex with children" joke.  think of this as a sort of a public service anouncement)

[Oogie]

I like cockfighting.

I like dogfighting.

I HATE cockdogfighting.

[Fido]

Brilliant, Supercaller Dave.  You win this game hands down.

[Richard_From_CHI]

I like sex

I like cats

Sex with cats: not so good

(you knew some variation of this joke was coming.  I wanted to head it off in order to ensure it was a "sex with children" joke.  think of this as a sort of a public service anouncement)

ROFLMAO.

[Dorvid Barnas]

I like sex

I like cats

Sex with cats: not so good

(you knew some variation of this joke was coming.  I wanted to head it off in order to ensure it was a "sex with children" joke.  think of this as a sort of a public service anouncement)

I had an amazing "cat pizza" joke, Andy, and you had to go and ruin it for everyone.
Your loss, bastard.

[Jason]

I like dessert, I like $25.
I hate spending $25 on dessert.

[Laurie]

I like dessert, I like $25.
I hate spending $25 on dessert.

 

Does this mean you won't be in attendance at my super awesome party?

[dave from knoxville]

I would not normally pull up this spammy a thing again, but I have to share my pride in my son, Andy from Knoxville. Dane cook came on tv doing one of his endless baseball updates, and my son says to me "I hate this guy. Lots of people at school like him, but it's just because he cusses a lot, I don't think I have ever heard him say anything funny."

So I take Andy to this very post, to show him that my opinion of Dane Cook is basically the same, and he got inspired when he saw the stack of youtube windows. He actually found a way to make Dane Cook HIGH-larious, and you can too, if you follow these simple directions.

1) Place the Dane Cook video fully on screen. Now, reposition the screen so that the command bar from the chef video is also on screen; for maximum effect, do NOT pull the screen down far enough so that you can see chef. In other words, you want to be able to control the chef video without actually seeing him.

2) Turn the Dane Cook audio all the way down.

3) Turn the chef video all the way up.

4) Hit the start button for the two videos as close to simultaneously as possible.

If you pull it off, it's almost as impressive as The Wizard of the Dark Side of the Moon.

I like Danes

[youtube=425,350]tIKRewNBzF4[/youtube]




And I like cooks

[youtube=425,350]LcufmQqovUQ[/youtube]




But I don't like what happens when you put them together

[youtube=425,350]yw8pg5uoWPE[/youtube]

In case my instructions were unclear, you're running the chef audio while viewing only the Dane video.

[Andy]

I have to admit that the cat pizza joke is clearly vastly superior to my cat/sex joke.

[Alex Rebar]

I like Democrats.  I like parties.  I hate the Democratic Party.

[Dorvid Barnas]

I like posters.  I like children.

But i just heard the Tom vs. Poster Children episode (2/14/06), and GAAAHH - those two are the WORST! 
What a couple of passive-aggressive, humorless blowhards. 

Holy moly.
I know I'm 20 months late on this topic, but still.
I'll take ten pinkhamsters over that Rick guy, any day.

GAAAHH.
His music must be really good to carry that 'tude.

[John Junk]

I like posters.  I like children.

But i just heard the Tom vs. Poster Children episode (2/14/06), and GAAAHH - those two are the WORST! 
What a couple of passive-aggressive, humorless little blowhards.

It's my impression that this was the prevalent mentality of the entire "indie" community from 1989 - 1995.  I could be so completely off-base. 

[Dorvid Barnas]

Well alright, I posted that before hearing the part where they apologized, but still. GAAAHH.

[Tim K in DC]

I like Florida.

I like state universities, at least the one I attended.

I hate FSU.*

* Tonight, I had the distinctly nauseating experience of speed-dialing the Cambridge PD while the sound of some poor schlub's ribs getting broken by a pair of FSU-affiliated Doc Martens was echoing in the background. And I'm not talking about Florida State University. Oi, oi, shitheads.