High school

[KickTheBobo]

it was pretty fucked.

besides having a Teenage Psychopathic Killer attending, there were also the smatterings of pregnant girls, soon-to-have-their-throat-slashed male escorts, suicides, textbooks from 20 years ago (my Health book actually references "blue meenies" & "yellowjackets")

the cherry on top for me: having "(my sister's name) IS A C*NT" spraypainted on the side of the school during my years there. she had actually graduated 6 years previous, but they just didn't have grafitti removal in the budget.

i took my share of bullying from some of the dregs (some who are now Cons, tyvm), but never got seriously pummeled. some folks got it alot worse. I was lucky in that I had a little crew of weirdo friends and we kinda looked out for one another.

[Denim Gremlin]

Okay, this has been bothering me for years (I don't know why I never thought before to ask about it here):  Onscreen--whether small or wide--high school is always portrayed as a den of inequity, bullying, violence, cruelty, and excessive cliquery.  Now, my tenure in high school was brief--I left never to return in December of my sophomore year--but I never, ever witnessed the kind of behavior I see on TV shows and in movies.  Oh, sure, occasionally there was some extremely mild harassment of an oddball, but it never went very far and was never widespread (indeed, a bully could always count on the censure of his/her peers and would usually be shamed into relative courtesy very quickly).  But I never witnessed the automatic viciousness that one so regularly sees in movies/shows, and, believe me, according to the stereotypes, I should have been on the receiving end of it.  Instead, I got along reasonably well with students across all the high school divides and was even, in my own small way, somewhat popular or, at least, more or less cheerfully tolerated.

Now, in case you're wondering, no, I didn't grow up in Mayberry.  My sojourn in high school ran from 1971 to 1972 and took place in New Paltz, New York.  A kinder, gentler time, perhaps, but not some distant nostalgic fairyland.  And if you consider, for example, the movie Carrie, you'll see the stereotype was already firmly in place in 1976/1977--and no doubt long before--so if the movies are true, New Paltz Central High School in the early seventies should have been as much of a hellhole as any other secondary school.

So, my questions are these:  Adjusting for poetic license/exaggeration, did/does your high school resemble the fictional versions you see onscreen?  Were/are the weak and weird routinely and extravagantly bullied?  Were/are the brainy derided?  Were/are the ugly and clumsy humiliated?  Were/are you specifically made to feel like shit because of your oddness (I'm assuming pretty much all of you are oddish)?  Is the fictional rendition of high school a big, fat lie for dramatic effect?  Or did I lead a charmed life?

you're from a hippie town.

[Sarah]

Colin:

Damn, I guess I have led a charmed life after all. . . . Maybe the fact that New Paltz during the years in question was a hippie capital of the Northeast had something to do with it:  even jocks and red necks were softened by all the groovy love and peace swirling around in the atmosphere. 

[Gilly]

I had a decent high school experience. I wanted to leave real bad at the end but I think any sane person does. I think other classmates might have had a similar story to all of you but I had a big group of acquaintances from all different cliques: Jocks, band geeks, thespians, art kids, gearheads... and a core group of friends, some who I still do things with today. But, my graduating class was close to 700 people and I knew most of them and hated just a few so I guess I found a way to make high school work. Maybe that's why I like high school movies so much...I don't relate to them at all.

[Susannah]

Great thread, Sarah--although I am sorry for everyone who had miserable junior/high school experiences.

High school for me was somewhat boring, but not terrible.  I had lots of acquaintances in different cliques--I was on the honors track so was friendly with the nerdy Mathlete types, but also played a few varsity sports with the jocks and hung out with the litmag/art crowd--but I had only a few really close friends.  Without exaggerating, I really credit my discovery of indie rock and WFMU in the 7th grade to shaping who I later became. I hung out in New York as much as possible and tried to go to as many shows as my parents would let me on weeknights.

My high school itself was a pretty unremarkable suburban institution: not as academically recognized as some in the area; not as rough as others.  We had some great, dedicated teachers, and some who were obviously counting down the days until retirement.  I regret not paying more attention in Calculus, being so bummed about breaking up with my 11th grade boyfriend, and not taking Latin.

It's funny to think back on those days now as a high school teacher.  I'm only 6 years older than my seniors, but it definitely feels like a very long time ago.  The school I work at is a decidedly touchy-feely, progressive school for girls.  My students are sweet as pie to me, except when they complain about their grades or about their reading assignments.  I have heard that the middle school girls (it's a 6-12 school) are much harder to rein in and are much more susceptible to "Mean Girls"-style behavior, but for the most part my students are too stressed about getting into elite colleges to be horrible to one another.

On that note, one more class to teach before the weekend...

[<<<<<]

But, my graduating class was close to 700 people

Heh, your graduating class was almost as big as my town. 
About 30 people in my graduating class. 

[Gilly]

I went to a private school in 10th grade and had 30 people in my class. That was a culture shock and about the worst decision I ever made. I knew almost everyone with a class of 700 but not every little detail about them and vice versa....it's nice to have a few secrets or at least the opportunity to have them without being a wallflower.

[Rainer]

I was lucky in that I had a little crew of weirdo friends and we kinda looked out for one another.

Me, too.  And the fact that nobody wanted to come near us was its own reward. High school was all about music, and I loved it.  Swapping LPs in the cafeteria.  Playing TC15 at the school assembly. Having someone hand you The Stooges "Fun House" and say, "you should listen to this, it's really good." And you don't have a fucking clue what you are about to enjoy. Those are life's true gifts.

I remember our band, "The Suburban Onslaught" playing an auto rally at our high school, trading off songs with the resident Southern Rock Band.  We: The Who, The Pretenders, The Ramones, The Monkees, Minor Threat, The  Stranglers (ouch); They: The Lynyrd Skynyrd Catalog.

We sucked. They didn't.

[emma]

I am one of maybe three arts students in a math-and-science-oriented school, and the only person in the entire school not taking any type of math or science this year.

Our school mascot is a tree.

Draw what conclusions you will.

[Denim Gremlin]

Colin:

Damn, I guess I have led a charmed life after all. . . . Maybe the fact that New Paltz during the years in question was a hippie capital of the Northeast had something to do with it:  even jocks and red necks were softened by all the groovy love and peace swirling around in the atmosphere. 

I can relate though, while my town was certainly not a hippie capitol I witnessed none of this high school movie stuff. If I'm to assume high school movies are a good idea of what high school is really like then I went to a totally backwards high school.

[Denim Gremlin]

Great thread, Sarah--although I am sorry for everyone who had miserable junior/high school experiences.

High school for me was somewhat boring, but not terrible.  I had lots of acquaintances in different cliques--I was on the honors track so was friendly with the nerdy Mathlete types, but also played a few varsity sports with the jocks and hung out with the litmag/art crowd--but I had only a few really close friends.  Without exaggerating, I really credit my discovery of indie rock and WFMU in the 7th grade to shaping who I later became. I hung out in New York as much as possible and tried to go to as many shows as my parents would let me on weeknights.

My high school itself was a pretty unremarkable suburban institution: not as academically recognized as some in the area; not as rough as others.  We had some great, dedicated teachers, and some who were obviously counting down the days until retirement.  I regret not paying more attention in Calculus, being so bummed about breaking up with my 11th grade boyfriend, and not taking Latin.

It's funny to think back on those days now as a high school teacher.  I'm only 6 years older than my seniors, but it definitely feels like a very long time ago.  The school I work at is a decidedly touchy-feely, progressive school for girls.  My students are sweet as pie to me, except when they complain about their grades or about their reading assignments.  I have heard that the middle school girls (it's a 6-12 school) are much harder to rein in and are much more susceptible to "Mean Girls"-style behavior, but for the most part my students are too stressed about getting into elite colleges to be horrible to one another.

On that note, one more class to teach before the weekend...

Scotch plains/Fanwood high school football sucks!

Go Westfield High!

[Gilly]

So, how many of you still are good friends with people you went to high school with? I'm 27 and I have two friends that I still am good friends with. A couple more that I talk to once in awhile.

[erika]

Kids are cruel. If you're shy or sensitive or even just have an odd sense of humor, school can be a nightmare. And for me, it most definitely was. In highschool I turned to listening to too much Tori Amos, writing some pretty bad poetry, and eventually becoming a pseudo-hippie pothead, which completely ousted me from many social circles. I wasn't quite nerdy enough for the nerds, not bad enough for the "bad" kids, didn't get good enough grades for the smart kids, and held at arm's length by whatever you would call our "popular" crowd. Individuals in that crowd would hang out with me, have a great time, and ignore me the next second anyone else in the group would come around. It was so odd. I probably should have been taking notes -- it would have made some great social research. It's amazing how rude and fickle people can be at that age.

Graduation was the best thing that ever happened to me. Being away from all those people erased the painful shyness and allowed me to adopt a "ah, fuck it" attitude that has turned me into a much happier person.

That said, I am still sister-like with my two best friends from 9th grade. So if I'd missed out on all that torture, I also would have missed out on two of my lifelong friends.

GO EAGLES!

[bruce]

So, how many of you still are good friends with people you went to high school with? I'm 27 and I have two friends that I still am good friends with. A couple more that I talk to once in awhile.

The day I graduated HS was also the last day I saw any of those folks again. I did run in one girl I knew while I was in college but since then not a one.

[folksnake]

So, how many of you still are good friends with people you went to high school with? I'm 27 and I have two friends that I still am good friends with. A couple more that I talk to once in awhile.

My four best friends all date from 1st through 3rd grade. I'll be 49 in a few weeks.

So we went through everything together. And it still sucked, for every one of us.