It's Time to Look for a New Job When...

[Fido]

Of all things, earlier this week, I let my boss know that I'd be leaving my job soon.  I have not officially resigned, but the process has been set in motion, and I imagine I'll be out of my job before the end of the month.  No one else in my organization knows it yet, as far as I am aware.  My sentiments about my job were not great -- I never had any fontasies of inflicting harm on anyone in any way, far from it -- I just had zero enthusiasm for the organization and my role in it.  I don't yet have another job lined up, either, but I feel relieved about my decision.  Doing this also gave me the sense of taking charge of my situation and trying to fix it, rather than grinding on in an unhappy situation that I felt I had little control over. 

I congratulate you Spoony!  It's the right thing to do.

[Spoony]

Thanks man!

Today was my first day of non-productivity. I had to turn my IM off because my ex-co-workers were polluting my screen with "OHMYGODTHISPLACEHASGONETOHELL" comments. Feels good to be the first rat off the boat.

[God Stewart]

I used to always work two jobs so I could quit one as soon as the stupidity/injustuce got out of control. Now I'm down to the one job that paid the best but it turns out my superior is a complete lunatic! At least my co-workers are cool and hate the same aspects of the job that I do.

I've always wanted to intentionally get fired. This might be the year!

[Dorvid Barnas]

Some of your bosses are lushes, cokeheads, and preverts. (allegedly)

But that's every job, isn't it? 

[Rainer]

JJ, TremblingEagle, Fido, Spoony, and God Stewart: I'm right there with you.  I accepted a consultant gig at a company in Sterling VA and was released from it yesterday.

SUPERVISOR Um, Craig? Our webmaster started today so it looks like we don't need you anymore.

RAINER [Beat as I processed that I was hired as a UI Developer not a Webmaster] Webmaster?  I thought this position was a long term one.  Was there a problem?

SUPERVISOR No, we just have our webmaster.  So you can just finish whatever you are doing and then give me your passcard when you leave.

RAINER Okay.

So I call my employment agency and they contact the company and the company says that I "took too long to complete my tasks." This after being completely transparent about what I was doing, for example, spending a little extra time to utilize their JavaScript library (JQuery) to automate stuff with scripts and provide the value I assumed they expected for someone of my paygrade, i.e. not a webmaster.  And I told them as much.  Sure go ahead!

This is a first for me.  Frustrating, to say the least.  But it's a blessing in disguise as I re-contacted two employers that I turned down when I accepted the consultant gig and have interviews tomorrow and Thursday.  One at a newspaper, the other at a place where they provide free massages and a weekly "show me your JPEG" party!

Lesson learned: don't work where you aren't happy.  As Hugh Cornwell pompously declared on the "Aural Sculpture" single: "the musicians of our time are harlots and charlatans who abuse art without being artists and abuse science without being scientists."  That goes double for marketing types with "roll up your sleeves" exuberance who think they know how to write HTML.  My personal hobbyhorse: people that devalue the expertise of Front End Developers.

[God Stewart]

Rainer,

I hope you can take this opportunity to escape NO-VA. I grew up there and every time I go back I see less trees and more Applebees. Good luck on the job hunt. Those with the brains always win in the end, they just don't end up in management*.

* said the manager.

[Dorvid Barnas]

NOVA rules, haters drool.

Rainer knows why he's here.  Hang in there, buddy!

[God Stewart]

O the list I could write of what I don't like about Northern VA. But I'll refrain and encourage everyone to listen to Patton Oswalt's stories of growing up there. They echo my experiences.

Out of curiousity is it the same local news team on NBC? Dorreen, Jim, George and Bob?

I still crack up hearing Bob Ryan's voice on that Trans Am track "White Rhino."

[Dorvid Barnas]

Out of curiousity is it the same local news team on NBC? Dorreen, Jim, George and Bob?

Everyone but George, but he's still got the sports show with Kornheiser and Wilbon.

[Rainer]

Rainer knows why he's here.  Hang in there, buddy!

I'm here because my children are here and don't want to do that long drive every other weekend to exchange them with my wife.

I up against memories now.  I grew up here.  Went to see Minor Threat at the old 930 Club.  And 9353 (remember them?) at DC Space. Got married to a woman from here.  Freaked out when the Pentagon got hit and ran in zig-zag fashion through parking lots while John Muhammed was fucking things up ... regularly went to the Home Depot where he shot that woman in the head.  Raised my children here.  Homeschooled them.  Helped my landlady carol her Burmese sheep when it was time for their shots (which they hated getting). Everywhere I look, I see the past.

I've moved past the stage where a coffee-stain on a napkin reminds me of my wife, reminds me of happier days.  But the more I shake the tree -- get out into the world to try and do the work of rebuilding myself with fresh associations -- the more old shit bubbles to the surface.  That's a terrible mixed metaphor, but perhaps you get the drift.

I sound like the depressed office worker.  Excuse me while I splash some cold water on my face.

[ericluxury]

I was asked tomorrow if I would go at 7am tommorow to the Today Show and stand outside with a sign promoting a client of my companies' whose spokesperson is appearing on the show. I would be holding a sign that would read
"We love [Spokesperson] and [Client]!!!"
I wanted to say that I'd sooner put a hole in my head, but instead just said no and was pressured for the next 5 minutes. I continued to say no. Now I'm a spoil sport who is no fun.

[Sarah]

Well, tomorrow was awfully short notice.

[jed]

I was asked tomorrow if I would go at 7am tommorow to the Today Show and stand outside with a sign promoting a client of my companies' whose spokesperson is appearing on the show. I would be holding a sign that would read
"We love [Spokesperson] and [Client]!!!"
I wanted to say that I'd sooner put a hole in my head, but instead just said no and was pressured for the next 5 minutes. I continued to say no. Now I'm a spoil sport who is no fun.

Nice to see some principles in a young man (I just watched No Country for Old Men for the first time last night).

[Petey]

The Bjs Memoir:      

posted on the the quiet mule companion 

http://www.thequietmule.com/main/   

A couple of months ago I made a big decision. I decided to hand in my two weeks notice to BJ's Wholesale Club. I had pushed carts there, to the limit. I also did some cashier work from time to time. Those cocksuckers. I made approximately 4000 dollars without taxes, 3200 with. What shall I buy? Nobody Know. Maybe I will get a big guitar, perhaps I will get a big camera. One things for certain, the ass is always greener on the other side of the parking lot.

Wibby what. OK. I worked there for so long, that I do not even rememeber everything because it was all a blur. Partly because I was sans glasses and half blind, and also partially because it was really boring and dumb. I was bad at making contact with the hot ladies, because I could not make proper eye contact. When I finally return, I look in the eyes of some of the bitches, and I see I could've got some pussy. WHATEV. OK so anyway, most of the people there were stupid and ugly, and I didn't like them. But some were good. See if you, the prophecies reader, can tell the difference.

--------

THE MANAGERS:

Evelyn: Fat hispanic lady, age 30+, wants to know why im so quiet. "why you so quiet? i think your quiet, but not shy. is something wrong?"

Joann: Really fat white lady. age 40 something. Has fucked up teeth. Her daughter is a supervisor.

Lady w/ blonde hair: Reason I have the job. Cathy's friends sister.

Pat: Butch ugly lady. Pretends to be nice, but hates you.


THE CART PUSHERS:

Louis: There from the beggining. Has a lot of muscle, but is skinny. Tan. Rumored around school to be a manwhore. Has a really ugly girlfriend who he uses for sex, but he asks other girls out practically in front of her. Sent a txt message to my friend "Mm...I kinda like you" and asked her out while he is dating the ugly girl. Tried unsuccesfully at first to beat the 32 carts pushed at one time record, but suceeded a month ago. He makes really weird, "mmmm" and "mm hmmmm" noises. A lot of girls find him attractive. One time I didn't finish all the carts outside so he went out to help me the next day. He told me, "I don't want to have to babysit you peter. Man up." When he sees my in school he pats me on the back and says "Whats up."

Sean King: The puerto rican ladies man who was trying to make a name for himself in the rap industry. Fired in December. From then on, BJ's became unbearable bullshit. Reportedly stole hots dogs and pretzels from the food court. Was known for slacking off.

David: Big wrestler kid who is really dumb. Typical big dumb kid. Kind of nice. Had sex with a girl named Marissa back in the day. Used to make fun of Gabby but is now less of an asshole to her. In the winter, me, him and sean would stand around and do nothing.

Morick: Smoked cigs. Talked to him for 5 minutes once outside. Friendly. Said there are "mad hot girls" in Monroe.

FLS: (front line supervisor)

Amy: I can't tell if shes actually nice or if shes faking. Thanks me for bringing in carts. Joe bought her muffins from the BJ's bakery for her birthday.

Thomas: Tan, bald. My sister thought he was gay, but he has a wife. Is an asshole at work, but when the job is done he acts nice. Was mad that on one Thursday I punched out and left with 30 carts in the parking lot.

Mike: Kind of short guy. Repeatedly heard him use the phrase, "well, my girlfriend" "yeah, my girlfriend" etc. He's ok.

Tire Bay:

No Name #1: Big guy in his early 20's that always wears black. Closest thing to a bro I have left at BJ's now that Sean King left. Came out of the bathroom one time, my hands still wet due to the unsatisfaction of the hand dryer, and he gave me a high five. He thought it was sweat and subsequently didn't understand everytime I came out of a bathroom with wet hands. One time I was assigned to pass tires from the tire section at BJs to the tire bay, but failed in finding one tire. He had to come out and look for it. Recently saw him outside, asked me what kind of music I listened to, I told him, "All music. Soul music's pretty good." "Yeah, soul music is good. I have a couple of bands, one metal, one rock, I'll let you know when we're playing." "Yeah, but I'm leaving soon." "Yeah. This place fucking sucks. Leave. If you were 18, I'd say apply for the tire bay."

No Name #2: Nice guy who I see when he works in the front holepunching the reciepts every Saturday. Every interaction I have with the person holepunching as I walk back towards the front after bringing in a row of carts is awkward, it doesn't matter who it is. The whole process of just passing by someone who is always there is weird and I don't know what to say to them, so I just look straight ahead and don't say anything usually, and they stare at me slowly walk away. Everytime I walk by NN #2 he says something though, so I must respond, such as "Why don't you smile?" He also said "I bet you want to kill all of them, don't you?" and I calmly agreed. One time the butch told me I needed to clean a dozen eggs that exploded in a cart. So, I got the mop and the bucket and wheeled it over, but since I am retarded I didn't know that your supposed to squeeze the mop in the little can at the top. So I ended up making more of a mess than before. NN #2 called out to me, "You've never used a mop before?" He then came over and said "Here, I'll show you how to use it. If you don't squeeze the mop, you make a bigger mess." The rest of the night was awkward.
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Posted on 23 May 2008 by TheQuietMule

[Stan]

 Horrifying, young Peter. In no time I expect to see you on Larry King Live being berated by Jimmy Kimmel.