These are the (awful) people in your neighborhood thread

[John Junk 2.0]

So it's 1:24 am, and I hear people screaming outside.  Nothing particularly surprising there, as I live next to two huge parking lots that are used by barhoppers every night.  But this is particularly belligerent.  I look out my window and see a stretch-limo-hummer parked on my street, with stretch-limo-hummer renters climbing out to get food from the taco truck that is always parked on my street for 6 hours a night.  And they're yelling a lot.  Is it me, or do these guys know how to class it the fuck up?

[emdasher]

You mean regular life is just like college dorm life? Well, it was nice to dream...

[pinky]

The bloke in the townhouse next to mine practices Ewan Macgregor's singing parts from Moulin Rouge.  Every weekend, all weekend, at the top of his lungs. 

To be fair his voice is not that bad, but he is not trying to sing in his voice he is trying to sing in Ewan's voice.

[yesno]

those stretch humer guys should eat fred flintstone-sized ribs and tip over their hummer. That would be funny.

I had a crazy neighbor who would go off his meds jr something and start attacking the world: yelling at me and S. through the walls, dropping heavy objects on the floor to go after other neighbor, hurling deprications through the window at passers by. Lots of conspiracy theories about how we were all out to get him. But his fontasy became a reality!  I got him kicked the fuck out.

(my sympathy for the mentally ill or otherwise disturbed does not extend to my loved ones being threatened, especially when at home.)

Seeing this sad little troll man leave was a cause for celebration in my building.

[masterofsparks]

Fireworks, every night for the past two months or so. Y'know, I don't really get the fireworks thing, but I'll understand if you wanna set them off on the couple of days around July 4th. But April? And do you have to wait until 11pm to do it? Don't you have jobs? Oh no, you don't, which is why you spend all day and evening sitting on the porch, drinking beer of out the can and yelling horrible things at your children.

[emma]

We used to live in a house that was bordered, on one side, by a parking lot. Every night it was even vaguely warm these 20-25-year-olds would come to the parking lot in their van, smoke up, blast really loud Portuguese techno music, and set up a volleyball net. It was kind of interesting at first--they played this weird, stoned, contact-volleyball kind of game, but it was also really loud and kind of scary--as the summer went on, they started getting into actual physical fights a lot. They threw a lot of trash into our backyard, too. Usually they'd stay until about 3 or 4 a.m. Sometimes it was easier to sleep through it, but other times it wasn't.

This went on for about two months before one night, in a fit of sleepless madness, I went out there brandishing a water gun and yelling. They found another parking lot after that.

[AllisonLeGnome]

It's not quite as exciting, but a house near us had a table set up on the corner asking for food donations for Myanmar cyclone victims for weeks. Nothing was ever left except a few cans of vegetables or something that I assume they put there themselves, probably because that's a terrible idea.

[masterofsparks]

This went on for about two months before one night, in a fit of sleepless madness, I went out there brandishing a water gun and yelling.

I'm shocked. I guess this whole "nice young lady" thing is just an image that you don in public - your own Tom Waits persona.

[Sarah]

Oh, they probably changed parking lots because she was so darn cute out there in her PJs waving her little water pistol.

[Oogie]

Masterofsparks says: I don't really get the fireworks thing.

[andrew in philadelphia]

me and the fam just moved into our new house so nothing too wild yet - though there was some type of altercation that went on for like 3 hours last tuesday when i was on the stoop waiting to talk to tom (i gets no reception inside my place.) i remember the words "jail," "money," "fight," and "cokehead" - but i didn't stick around long enough to get the complete narrative. all of our neighbors are super nice and friendly - so i'm guessing someone was just having a bad night. there's also a guy who comes around once in a while begging for me to let him mow the grass in the empty lot aside our house (there's tons of rocks and minor construction debris in it - though it's enough to wreck any mower.) he's nice and all - but when i tell him "i just sat down to dinner" - he doesn't seem to get the hint. i usually just give him a couple singles not to mow it. 

in our last apartment in this part of town - the tenant that had the pad before us was an extremely mentally ill man who had taken up with one of the local ladies of the evening. as if him letting his dog shit in (what would become) our basement for eight or so years wasn't bad enough, after he was committed, his lady friend would show up at our door at all kinds of insane hours asking if he was home (his name was "tom.") i remember one time i was home alone and after sitting down on the couch to watch a movie, i got the eeriest feeling - like someone was watching me. i looked up and there she was - staring through the window at me - saying nothing. i screamed at the top of my lungs in fright. "is tom home?" - she asked. good lord..

[buffcoat]

There's an apartment building down the road.  About three years ago, I drove by one night and saw a guy practicing his lightsaber fighting on the (very) small balcony outside his apartment.  With a freaking really realistic looking lightsaber, all lit up in its glory.  He had worked out quite the routine.

[emma]

There's an apartment building down the road.  About three years ago, I drove by one night and saw a guy practicing his lightsaber fighting on the (very) small balcony outside his apartment.  With a freaking really realistic looking lightsaber, all lit up in its glory.  He had worked out quite the routine.

That was me.

[Sarah]

You've got layers, don't you?

[dlobro1080]

There's a guy in my neighborhood who I think either just raises dogs or breeds them illegally, because that's all he does all day -- walk dogs.  But he doesn't clean up after them.  Oh yeah -- he also does it shirtless, makes grunting noises at and harasses women, and I've heard him call his wife "that bitch" when speaking to what looks like his son.