Awesome! Will I be pushing my luck if I ask for Glengarry Glen James?
How can I deny you, Mr. G? One more.
(A booth at a Chinese restaurant. JAMES and OTHER JAMES, both drinking.)
JAMES: I do those things which seem correct to me today. I trust myself. And if security concerns me, I do that which today I think will make me secure -- like stock up on toupee glue. And every day I do that, when that day arrives that I need a reserve, a) odds are that I have it, and b) the true reserve that I have is the strength that I have of acting each day without fear. (pause) According to the crazed dictates of my mind. (pause) Radios, telephones, chat rooms, sound boards stocked with disconnected audio clips. Now: what are they? (pause) An opportunity. To what? To win notoriety? Perhaps. To annoy? Perhaps. To "indulge" and to "learn" about ourselves? Perhaps. So fucking what? What isn't? They're an opportunity to
James one's fellow man. That's all. They're an event. You find a public forum, you make a call, you send an email, it doesn't matter, "You got Jamesed." What does it mean? What you want it to mean. (pause) That's all it is. We're all different. (pause) We're not the same. (pause) We are not the same. (pause) Hmmm. (pause, sighs) It's been a long day. (pause) What are you drinking?
OTHER JAMES: Yoo-Hoo and cough syrup.
JAMES: (pause) Well, let's have a couple more. My name is James, what's yours?
OTHER JAMES: Also James.
JAMES: You're about to get Jamesed, James.
OTHER JAMES: You too, James.
(Pause. They stand up giggle, dance, wave their arms in the air, use one hand to steady each of their toupees.)
TOGETHER: JAMES JAMES JAMES JAMES JAMES!
