Unintentional Conversation Starters -- ugh!

[<<<<<]

im assuming angstrom means skinny, like the opposite of muscles?  or it could mean the opposite of fatso.  either way, being called gay because of it=weak.

Pretty much, not fat, or even "average" and not muscular either.  We're talking about 5'9" 120# (though I'm up around 150# now).  Of course, dopey boys equate literal size with masculinity, so lacking size = lacking masculinity.  Whatever. 

It's extremely prevalent for thin guys to get called "faggot" with little no provocation though.

The funniest thing is most of the actual gay men I know are not necessarily small ~ or any particular body type at all.

[JonFromMaplewood]

I seem to have a look that feels "familiar" to everyone I meet.  I do not usually get equated with someone famous, but it is always "You totally remind me of my friend Paul" or "Gosh, isn't he a lot like Dan?!"

What does one say to this?  I don't know Paul. I don't know Dan.  They may be equating me with a good-looking Mensa member or they may be equating me with the guy on their front stoop who wears a Hefty bag and swears at passing kids.

[<<<<<]

"You look like (an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife)" is pretty much always a come-on, but it's a weirdo come-on.

[dave from knoxville]

(although, you have a pretty intimidating voice, Thomas.)

i have the same problem as Emily (i'm 5' even), but not near the problems.  i seem to have lots of tall friends, but they all appreciate my small stature.  i refuse to wear shoes to make me taller and ive never had a problem with my I.D.  however, i do get from strangers, "Oh my god, you're really short!" a lot.  not to mention, around halloween and christmas, there are plenty of jokes about being an oompa loompa or an elf.  also, lots of trash talk when we go out and we're forced to sit on bar stools or i have to use the handicap stall in the bathroom- my feet dont touch the ground.

but i will say it makes it easy for me to get to the front at shows when i need to, sleep on love seats when the couch is taken, and im just generally more adorable thanks to my small size.

Does this mean there's less of you to love?

[iAmBaronVonTito]

(although, you have a pretty intimidating voice, Thomas.)

i have the same problem as Emily (i'm 5' even), but not near the problems.  i seem to have lots of tall friends, but they all appreciate my small stature.  i refuse to wear shoes to make me taller and ive never had a problem with my I.D.  however, i do get from strangers, "Oh my god, you're really short!" a lot.  not to mention, around halloween and christmas, there are plenty of jokes about being an oompa loompa or an elf.  also, lots of trash talk when we go out and we're forced to sit on bar stools or i have to use the handicap stall in the bathroom- my feet dont touch the ground.

but i will say it makes it easy for me to get to the front at shows when i need to, sleep on love seats when the couch is taken, and im just generally more adorable thanks to my small size.

Does this mean there's less of you to love?

good heavens, i hope not. 


besides, i hear i give the best hugs; if anything, that makes me easier to love. 

[Beth]

My name. I feel comfortable enough that you guys won't stalk me if I tell you my whole name. It's Elizabeth Barrett.

My whole damned life, every time I introduce myself to someone it's been "Oh, like Elizabeth Barrett Browning?" Or, "It's so appropriate that you're a literature major, isn't it?"

Yes, I suppose. I've never HEARD that before. You're so clever.

[A.M. Thomas]

(although, you have a pretty intimidating voice, Thomas.)

i have the same problem as Emily (i'm 5' even), but not near the problems.  i seem to have lots of tall friends, but they all appreciate my small stature.  i refuse to wear shoes to make me taller and ive never had a problem with my I.D.  however, i do get from strangers, "Oh my god, you're really short!" a lot.  not to mention, around halloween and christmas, there are plenty of jokes about being an oompa loompa or an elf.  also, lots of trash talk when we go out and we're forced to sit on bar stools or i have to use the handicap stall in the bathroom- my feet dont touch the ground.

but i will say it makes it easy for me to get to the front at shows when i need to, sleep on love seats when the couch is taken, and im just generally more adorable thanks to my small size.

That's right!  I forgot about my voice.

I have a deeper-than-usual voice, especially for my size.  It was deep even when I was a little kid, so I've been getting comments from strangers about it my whole life.

"That voice from that body?  Damn!"
"You sound like Darth Vader!" *Does Darth Vader impression while repeating what I just said*
"YOU SOUND LIKE THE MOVIE TRAILER GUY.  OH MY GOD."
"No, he just sounds like a rapist."*

*Yup, someone said this to me once based only on the pitch of my voice.

I think I've started to unintentionally raise the pitch of my voice so as to not intimidate people.  Is there any way my secret santa FOT can send me a voice modulator?

[A.M. Thomas]

My name. I feel comfortable enough that you guys won't stalk me if I tell you my whole name. It's Elizabeth Barrett.

My whole damned life, every time I introduce myself to someone it's been "Oh, like Elizabeth Barrett Browning?" Or, "It's so appropriate that you're a literature major, isn't it?"

Yes, I suppose. I've never HEARD that before. You're so clever.

Does anyone ever compare you to Syd Barrett because of your name?  I think he's a lot more interesting than E. Barrett Browning.

[Martin]

This:

- Oh, you write about movies? What movie should I go see tomorrow?
- I don't know, strange person that I've never met before.
- OK, fine. Hey, what's the best movie ever?
- The Hacksawist.

[dave from knoxville]

Be thankful your folks didn't name you Grih Nihn

[Come on, Jason]

My last name is Burns and I grew up in a town called Springfield.

[iAmBaronVonTito]

That's right!  I forgot about my voice.

I have a deeper-than-usual voice, especially for my size.  It was deep even when I was a little kid, so I've been getting comments from strangers about it my whole life.

"That voice from that body?  Damn!"
"You sound like Darth Vader!" *Does Darth Vader impression while repeating what I just said*
"YOU SOUND LIKE THE MOVIE TRAILER GUY.  OH MY GOD."
"No, he just sounds like a rapist."*

rapist, doubtful.  murderer, possibly.  but your glasses match your voice.*





*if this sort of thing existed.

[iAmBaronVonTito]

My last name is Burns and I grew up in a town called Springfield.

oh brother. 

[yesno]

"YOU SOUND LIKE THE MOVIE TRAILER GUY.  OH MY GOD."

[...]

I think I've started to unintentionally raise the pitch of my voice so as to not intimidate people.  Is there any way my secret santa FOT can send me a voice modulator?

I *guarantee* you've heard this but, like that one guy that used to call the show, you should do voice-over work.  How hard could it be?  Let us start a conversation on this topic.

Voice modulators only go the other way.

[A.M. Thomas]

"YOU SOUND LIKE THE MOVIE TRAILER GUY.  OH MY GOD."

[...]

I think I've started to unintentionally raise the pitch of my voice so as to not intimidate people.  Is there any way my secret santa FOT can send me a voice modulator?

I *guarantee* you've heard this but, like that one guy that used to call the show, you should do voice-over work.  How hard could it be?  Let us start a conversation on this topic.

Voice modulators only go the other way.

I have indeed heard this.  I do creative spoken word stuff that I've mostly kept to myself, but if I could make a living from my voice, I obviously would.  I just don't know where to start.  Do I need an agent or something?