I like KISS. I like the Beatles. Comparing member by member:
Lennon vs. Eisen - Both exceptionally self-centered and seen as "the sensitive one." Lennon's a better singer and writer, Stanley has a star painted on his face. Advantage Lennon.
McCartney vs. Witz - McCartney is unfairly maligned as the cute one and overshadowed by his primary writing partner's image as the band's "true artist." Simmons is a slimy creep, though there is something to be said for unwavering belief in his own genius, however undeserved. Advantage McCartney.
Harrison vs. Frehley - Harrison's the talented songwriter forced into the background because he had the misfortune of landing in a band with one of the greatest songwriting duos ever. Also a pretty good guitarist. Frehley's a fat drunk and a really good guitarist. Even.
Starkey vs. Criss - Both maligned as the weak link in the instrumental lineup. The difference is that the reputation is fully deserved in the case of Peter Criss, whereas Ringo is actually a pretty good drummer. As for vocals, Ringo's the worst singer in his band while Peter is the best in his. Advantage Criss.
I completely agree with this analysis, with the exception that I believe the opposite of every single word in it.
- Lennon vs. Stan - Preening beats navel-gazing. WIN for KISS!
- McCartney vs. Klein - Both men are extremely greedy sell-outs. But McCartney is completely out of his depth here. WIN for KISS!
- Harrison vs. Paul F. - Both men have strong religious feelings. George loves Mysticism, Ace loves cocaine and vodka. George's love is purer, Ace's love is greater. WIN for KISS!
- Ringo vs. Crisscoula - Tough one. Both have very low IQs. However, only one of these men went all the way from the penthouse to beneath the outhouse. I'm still waiting for "A Face Without a KISS." WIN and MATCH for KISS!