I suggested this a long time ago. Maybe the time is right for a Best Show Quiz.
I came up with some questions back then. Here are some samples.
1. Which of the following is NOT a threat made by Bruce Willis against Tom?
A. “Make Tom eat a lawnmower.”
B. “Take Tom out in the street and beat his ass where everyone can see it.”
C. “Chainsaw Tom’s car apart.”
D. “Run his car right into Tom’s station.”
E. “Pick up Tom’s kids and throw them at him.”
F. “Tear Tom’s face off and staple it to his ass.”
G. They are all threats made by Bruce Willis against Tom.
2. Tricks that Freddie Harmon, Tom’s Wannabe Personal Magician does include:
A. Hypnotizing two women to kiss each other
B. Making a lady’s husband disappear for a couple of hours – “I need to do that more often”
C. Levitating three eggs and making one do an “egg somersault” – over the phone
D. Making your wallet disappear
E. Eating a lawnmower – “not one of the big ones”
4. One of Tom’s Daddy’s friends (and a Newbridge Neighborhood watch member) is angry at Tom. His name is:
A. Clete Boyer
B. Zeph Marshack
C. Merv Reynolds
D. The Madman
E. Roger Campbell
5. This person is angry at Tom because:
A. Tom stiffed him on Jets game tickets
B. Tom made him eat a lawnmower
C. Tom hit him with a shopping cart at the Food Elephant
D. Tom refused to endorse his candidacy for Newbridge Water Commissioner
7. Dennis Grove wants Tom and Dennis’ nephew Roderick (“he’s got ADD”) to cover for him at Newbridge Neighborhood Watch. Which of the following is NOT a reason the Watch is undermanned?
A. The Finals of the New Jersey Little League Tournament in Tribridge,
B. The Final Night of the Newbridge Fair (with John Cafferty)
C. Merv’s Bachelor Party (the guy’s the ugliest guy since Fred Gwynne)
D. Officer Harrups has recently retired
E. Newbridge Commons Midnight Madness Sale (featuring great deals on POT-80 merchandise)
F. The Newbridge Marauders are going on a crime spree
8. Delp water looks like chocolate milk. Meanwhile, Somerstant water can be described as:
A. Fresh as a mountain stream
B. Cold, clear liquid glass
C. All the colors of the rainbow
D. Superchunky
10. Jack calls into the Shark Tank Sports Show, but he only wants to discuss one thing. That thing is:
A. These newfangled Compact Discs
B. Go Steelers!
C. Go Steelers!
D. Go Steelers!
E. Answers B, C and D, plus “Sharky, I’m scared.”
