Best Show jokes you have used in real life.

[Paul DePhiladelphia]

Jokes. I hate jokes.

I don't hate all jokes but i wouldn't blanket these as jokes, but i don't really know what you would call them.

I think everyone got the gist of what this thread was about.

[Joe Rogaine]

Jokes. I hate jokes.

I don't hate all jokes but i wouldn't blanket these as jokes, but i don't really know what you would call them.

I think everyone got the gist of what this thread was about.

Yeah

[AaronC]

Instead of cursing, I say, "Fuuuuuuuuuuudge."

[Kiwi_Herman]

I use the word prevert more.

[Paul DePhiladelphia]

I also use "I agree with everything you just said but the word _______"

[Rasmussen]

I've started switching the words ham and hand.

[Paul DePhiladelphia]

Was it a Best Show rant about tourists who walk down a busy sidewalk three, four, five abreast so's you can't get by 'em? 'Cause I ran into a gaggle of thems the other night, just a bunch of gals out on the town cloggin' sidewalks while I am left to grumbling under my breath, "Hey, this isn't Sex in the City."

If it is NOT a Best Show rant, then I APOLOGIZE, alright?? I stole it from somewheres else.

I just heard this on the archive from June 17, 2008 on the definitive list of best and worst things. Tom labels it as "What is this, Reservoir Dogs?"

[Bryan]

Was it a Best Show rant about tourists who walk down a busy sidewalk three, four, five abreast so's you can't get by 'em? 'Cause I ran into a gaggle of thems the other night, just a bunch of gals out on the town cloggin' sidewalks while I am left to grumbling under my breath, "Hey, this isn't Sex in the City."

If it is NOT a Best Show rant, then I APOLOGIZE, alright?? I stole it from somewheres else.

I just heard this on the archive from June 17, 2008 on the definitive list of best and worst things. Tom labels it as "What is this, Reservoir Dogs?"

Submitted by our very own yesno!

[iAmBaronVonTito]

i don't purposefully use Tomisms- they just happen.

admittedly, i listen to the Best show the entire time i'm at work, which means, 8-9 HOURS of best show a day.  the phrases and jokes sort of creep into my brain.  although, there are a number of nuances Tom does that i do, which was prior to finding the best show.  i continue those same nuances, but it was cool to know i wasn't the only one who did them (they got laughs from friends). 

and for the sake of this thread, some offenses are:

*"jeepers creepers"
*calling someone a goon/creep/mutant/etc
*calling people on their turlet talk or turlet mouth
*saying something nonchalant, then asking, "why?"
*going off on a complete tangent, not unlike Tom, when telling a story

[Chris L]

Calling people whose behavior I disapprove of "animals," or occasionally "shaved ape."

[Omar]

I frequently tell people to "go back to Rock School, son" when they say something wrong/odd about music.  The most recent directive occurred two weeks ago when someone told me that the most recent Alice in Chains album was better than Dirt.  The same person also claimed that Jerry Cantrell was always the band's primary vocalist.

[Paul DePhiladelphia]

My friend whose lived in Philly for four years didn't know the name of the Schuykill River and I called him..............................wait for it............................a............................PHILADUMMY!

[ugelhay]

I can't see a Wawa without thinking and or quoting PBR. I know I've also used the line "it's too early in the morning for this, Bobzilla" multiple times in life.

[Paul DePhiladelphia]

I can't see a Wawa without thinking and or quoting PBR. I know I've also used the line "it's too early in the morning for this, Bobzilla" multiple times in life.

I think if PBR was a professional wrestler he would make his entrance walking down the ramp to the ring surrounded in sparks and fireworks with George Harrison's "Wah-Wah" blasting throughout the arena.

[jbissell]

Calling people whose behavior I disapprove of "animals," or occasionally "shaved ape."

Or "animules".