Oh, Top Chef, why do you hate your all-stars so? What a degrading pair of challenges in this latest episode! First, prepare a snack for a bunch of kids--who have the final say in deciding who wins--and then churn out breakfast for those same kids and their families, handicapped by lack of sleep, boot camp sleeping quarters, and a heavily restricted selection of foods with which to cook. And then there was the particularly poisonous twist during the quickfire that required the losers to work for the two winners to see which would get immunity. It's as though Bravo decided that, if these dopes were fool enough to come back for a second shot at the prize, it would make them pay for their greed and lack of self-respect by setting the most humiliating tasks it could imagine. I'd feel sorry for the contestants if so many of them weren't such insufferable pills.
In the running for head pill is Jamie, who is so snooty and self-consciously above all the proceedings that I long to see her fall hard. And while I have little time for macho posturing in the kitchen (or elsewhere)--if you get hurt, get help, you dummy--in the midst of a team challenge, when you get a cut so minor it only requires two stitches, you tape it up, throw on a glove, and keep on cooking.
As for poor Jennifer, I've got to say, I really think this show has caused her to lose her marbles. During her season, after her shining moment running the kitchen--which was really early on, remember--she was terrifying to watch: capable of brilliance but so highly strung one could have no confidence that she'd manage to finish anything she started. She came into this all-stars mess determined, it seems, not to fall prey to the same insecurities that had sabotaged her before. Unfortunately, for some reason she seemed to have decided that, to be confident, she had to believe unconditionally in everything she did, with the result that she apparently couldn't perceive when she was screwing up. Nothing seems to alienate the judges more than a contestant who cannot acknowledge that there is anything wrong with his or her food. I mean, come on: it doesn't matter if you're convinced you've done a great job if the people you're serving think your food stinks. I thought Jen behaved like a psycho brat at judges' table and afterward, and, for her own sake, I'm glad she's gone.
Miscellaneous notes:
* Apparently the refrigerator in Richard Blais's childhood home was so well stocked with heavy cream that there was enough to pour over cereal. Pretty fancy!
* Marcel made several dopey comments during this episode, but my favorite was when he implied that Angelo was trying to sabotage him--when doing so would have hurt Angelo, too, since he, Marcel, and Richard were all taking responsibility for the same dish. Marcel then goes on to say that if the judges had chosen to select one member of the trio as the ultimate winner, it would have been he, even though it was the parfait that seemed to get everybody drooling (I knew the incorrectly named Brontosaurus team had clinched the win with that dish), and that concoction was Richard's.
* The sour grapey whining of Team T. Rex was embarrassing. Let him who is not serving salmon with shrimp sauce for breakfast cast the first stone at those serving gnocchi and gazpacho.
* I was pleased to hear Angelo's first "wichoo."
* I am also pleased that so far Richard is keeping his so-called witticisms to himself. God, those puns were painful during season 4.
* Tre would take too salty over bland any day? Seeing as how salt can always be added but food too salty can be downright inedible, I think he's misguided.
* Another smackworthy Jamie moment: when she said, "I feel like I let you guys down." Could that have been because that's precisely what she did? I can't stand this brave new world where people can't just say they were wrong, apologize, and move on.
Maybe next week there will be more in the way of actual cooking. Probably not, though--it's still early days.
