Caller Mentor Program (Help me to help somebody.)

[buffcoat]

I suggest Neil Mahoney, DC Pierson or some other such minor celebrity as a mentee.

Please. I should ask them to mentor me.

Stop making me rethink my blanket dismissal of Alabama with your politeness and gentility!  The only state I have left to feel uninterrupted contempt for now is Mississippi, and there's probably a kindly "Walter from Mississippi" out there waiting to take that from me.

[dave from knoxville]

Jason is a Power Human Being.

[patfromlansing]

Jason- I called on 10/26/2010, 11/2/2010, and 2/15/2011.     I would say my biggest obstacle toward becoming a power caller is not wanting to call if I can't think of something to contribute.    Not sure what kind of training would help with that.

[Greggulator]

I may need some help since I'm apparently the least favorite somewhat regular caller.

I don't think I have anything to teach you, Greg. I think you're doing fine and Tom likes you. If I were you, I'd Heel it up Andy Kaufman in Memphis-style towards those who dislike you (real or imagined.)
[/quote]

You're right, Jason. I *AM* doing fine -- more than fine, in fact, and I've been pretty amazing if I say so myself.

I should have told these little "people" months ago to stick it. They're just incredibly jealous of the dulcet tones of my Shadow Stevens-esque voice, my natural leadership capabilities, and as well as the fact that I have the best ab muscles of any caller into The Best Show.

Outside of the confines of The Best Show, absolutely none of these so-called people would even dare look at me in the eye. Their fists would ball up as tears well up in their eyes as they realize that they'll never, ever measure up to my many victories in life, especially as they consider their glaring failures and weaknesses.

(Like that?)

[Jason from Huntsville, AL]

Stop making me rethink my blanket dismissal of Alabama with your politeness and gentility!  The only state I have left to feel uninterrupted contempt for now is Mississippi, and there's probably a kindly "Walter from Mississippi" out there waiting to take that from me.

That Walter would have to be pretty freaking charming to undo the damage of my past interaction with the Mississippi Department of Revenue. Thumbs down, Mississippi.

Jason is a Power Human Being.

Dad! My friends are here! You're embarrassing me!

You're right, Jason. I *AM* doing fine -- more than fine, in fact, and I've been pretty amazing if I say so myself....

(Like that?)

Dial that back like 1.5 notches, and it's perfect.

Jason- I called on 10/26/2010, 11/2/2010, and 2/15/2011.     I would say my biggest obstacle toward becoming a power caller is not wanting to call if I can't think of something to contribute.    Not sure what kind of training would help with that.

I'll try to give those calls a re-listen before next Tuesday. Thanks.

[Wes]

Not saying it's you Jason, but I want to see someone mentor a more grizzled vet like Michael K.

"Michael K, what I want you to do is, every time you're thinking of calling, that you think you have something to contribute, just take a moment and pause - like we went over - pause for a moment, go over the mental checklist that we prepared and then smash your phone until you are sure it cannot complete any calls. And then smash that second phone that you had stocked away just in case."

[Stacey_C_]

That's up to Tom, Stacey. You could try asking for one. I think you're coming along just fine on your own myself, though.

Aw, thanks Jason. I was just kidding about Tom helping me because he joked about it during your call this week. If a mentor is interested in helping a lady, since it seems like it's mostly guys on the list now, I'd be happy to take the advice of a seasoned veteran. 

[buffcoat]

Not saying it's you Jason, but I want to see someone mentor a more grizzled vet like Michael K.

"Michael K, what I want you to do is, every time you're thinking of calling, that you think you have something to contribute, just take a moment and pause - like we went over - pause for a moment, go over the mental checklist that we prepared and then smash your phone until you are sure it cannot complete any calls. And then smash that second phone that you had stocked away just in case."

And any other phones in the neighborhood, and uninstall Skype from your computer, which you should also smash.

I was listening to one of his calls in a Baja Fresh and it almost made me unable to eat their delicious Salsa of the Month (pineapple).

[gravy boat]

Clark.

[gravy boat]

Not saying it's you Jason, but I want to see someone mentor a more grizzled vet like Michael K.

"Michael K, what I want you to do is, every time you're thinking of calling, that you think you have something to contribute, just take a moment and pause - like we went over - pause for a moment, go over the mental checklist that we prepared and then smash your phone until you are sure it cannot complete any calls. And then smash that second phone that you had stocked away just in case."

Again, it pains me that more people do not realize that Michael K is is one of top callers.  And for words per minute, no one is even in his ballpark.  I hope the Cynics throw their tour bus trash on your lawn.

[Jason from Huntsville, AL]

Thanks for the suggestions everyone. I think I've got my short list.

[buffcoat]

Not saying it's you Jason, but I want to see someone mentor a more grizzled vet like Michael K.

"Michael K, what I want you to do is, every time you're thinking of calling, that you think you have something to contribute, just take a moment and pause - like we went over - pause for a moment, go over the mental checklist that we prepared and then smash your phone until you are sure it cannot complete any calls. And then smash that second phone that you had stocked away just in case."

Again, it pains me that more people do not realize that Michael K is is one of top callers.  And for words per minute, no one is even in his ballpark.  I hope the Cynics throw their tour bus trash on your lawn.

Sorry, Michael.  I didn't know you posted here.

[Jason from Huntsville, AL]

Sorry, Michael.  I didn't know you posted here.

That post was under 50 words. I think that acquits this poster of any suspicion of sock puppetry.

[buffcoat]

Sorry, Michael.  I didn't know you posted here.

That post was under 50 words. I think that acquits this poster of any suspicion of sock puppetry.

Who, me?

[Jason from Huntsville, AL]

Sorry, Michael.  I didn't know you posted here.

That post was under 50 words. I think that acquits this poster of any suspicion of sock puppetry.

Who, me?

I meant that I didn't think there was anyway gravy boat could be Michael K as they didn't write a novel-length post.

We all know what you really are, buffcoat: an AI simulation of Dale Peterson created by the liberal elite so they can know what he'll do before he does it.