From the main blurb I wrote1 for the Spike Best Show trading card2:
Ah, yes, the mystique. Spike initially repulsed and intrigued Tom by promoting pain and barking about fictional colleagues “Debbie the Dominatrix” and “Sexy Sadie.” The baffled host dubbed him a cross between Droopy Dog and elderly outsider poet Bingo Gazingo. But a funny thing happened on the way to the dungeon over the next six years: They became buddies. Spike penciled himself into the leadoff spot—giddily greeting Shop-ling!—and unwittingly became one-half of a modern-day Abbott & Costello. From atop an orange crate in his basement apartment, the lozenge-mouthed raconteur regaled listeners with his favorite talking points: doo-wop, slasher films, The Sims, the joys of public transit, and his daytime “stories.” His ever-growing “don’t-do” list gets equal airtime: reality shows, Staten Island, pop stars (from Puff Dimwit to Jenny from the Bedroom), and a deeply held belief that children under 25 should neither be seen nor heard. The Proud Democrat and devout disciplinarian cemented his legend with Weirdos Exposed, a would-be lidblower on metro area malcontents that was in fact a spoken-word memoir of the man himself. Bans are issued, but Spike will be forever humming a girl group classic b/w a spine-tingling cackle that Tom hopes is not the last thing he ever hears. All hail the real King of Queens! Fade to black.
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1Probably my favorite paragraph that I've ever scrivened.
2A Spike card graded a GEM MINT 10 by PSA sold on eBay last week for $127!
