"I'm Having A Horrible Day At Work" (alt. version)

[SpaceBootz]

someone help, i can't get through a day at work anymore. it's either that or i just don't know HOW to get through a day at work. and i know this seems just like susannah's thread but it's not. it's different. sorta. i'm sitting here at my desk and no one even talks to each other..at least not in my little section. i've tried talking but no one really seems interested. it's like.. imagine 8 hours of silence day in and day out. you do get in a lot of self reflection.. too much reflection actually. i mean, yeah i can just focus on the work but thtere's no joy to be found in that. it's just so eh.. what do i do?

ok actually, this is the same as susannah's thread. but no one would've noticed it in there if i just added a reply to the bottom. and also, susannah's was dealing more with evil bosses and stress-inducing workloads.

[buffcoat]

Online games?  Itunes?  Corporate sabotage?

[SpaceBootz]

but then i'd get fired. and i'd be whining about how i want this dumb job back--the one i can barely get through each day.

[Sarah]

Look for another job?  Go free-lance (if that's an option)?  In any case, sympathies.

[Susannah]

I'm so sorry work is so awful for you!

Other than listening to "The Best Show" archives, which broke up the day, I tried to keep myself as busy as possible with hobbies, friends and classes for the evenings.  There's nothing worse than sitting around at home after a lousy day of work and dreading the next day.  I volunteered at this neat museum/library in town, took French classes, went to the gym and cooked dinner with friends on different nights of the week to distract myself from how much I hated my job.  It didn't exactly work--it's not like I was able to brainwash myself into thinking I actually liked the work I did--but it helped.  I kind of remembered the things that I really liked to do and that helped give me the impetus to find a new job in a different field.

I feel so bad for anyone who doesn't like his or her job. Why should anyone spend upwards of eight hours a day feeling miserable? It's just not right!  Hope you're ok.

[SpaceBootz]

Thanks, Sarah. I am looking for a new job--I actually sent out my resume earlier today in fact. It's just that I'm starting to question whether or not this (field) is what I should be doing. By the way, on my way into work this morning I was listening to the podcast for the miniature Best Show and I loved your call! I was like--hey! that's Sarah from the messageboard!

[Josh]

Sometimes I go through Fibonacci sequences in Notepad. Pretty discreet.

1 1 2 3 5 8 13 . . .

[Sarah]

Thanks, SpaceBootz!  It seems so long ago already.

What do you do, anyway (too lazy to search the jobs thread)?  What are you interested in doing?  Did you choose your current job as part of some career plan or is it just stopgap? 

At the first of the two worst jobs I ever had, I passed the time chain-smoking.  I was fourteen, working in a horrible souvenir shop in Old Orchard, ME, from 9 to 9, six days a week, for $70/wk.  At least I got an hour off for each meal and could walk down to the beach.

The second awful job was typing time sheets and bills for a patent law firm in NYC (I was 18).  At that one, I learned how to disconnect my brain so completely that I could type page after page more or less asleep.  Didn't know anyone, couldn't make friends with anyone.  I remember listening to the old cow who was my immediate supervisor arguing with another veteran schlub over how to spell "Juilliard"; needless to say, neither one even came close.  Rude lawyers ogled my legs (which I thought only happened in movies, so innocent was I).  I was scolded for eating my lunch too late (we were supposed to "take" our lunches between 12 and 1:30, so I'd start at 1:30, in order to make the afternoon as short as possible).  God, it was awful. 

[John Junk]

I had a job similar to you, mr. bootz, for about 4 years.  Actually, the first year I was in a crowded room in the Conde Nast building filled with Conde Nasty women.  Like the dynamic would literally be: Ladies talking shit about some absent lady.  Another lady walks out of the room.  Ladies start talking shit about that lady.  Like the boss lady would tell us how the one lady in her 50's made more than me (ripe old age of 22) solely because of her connections.  And would actually tell me her hourly wage.  Classy!  Imagine Ugly Betty without Betty, but keep the Ugly.  Then I got moved to a Conde Nast warehouse area on 2nd Ave and 45th street.  I literally got moved there in September of 2001.  Nothing like having to show ID to a literally-trenchcoated G-man to get on the block where yoiu work because you work in the middle of 102 foreign embassies and one block away from the U.N. just so you can database for 13 dollars an hour and no benefits while sharp shooters patrol the roof of the building next to you.  Worked in that building for 3 years with 2 gay guys who never talked but who listened to NPR non-stop and also trolled the net for gay porn on the job.  Sweet.  I went through a dark phase of listening to 3 or 4 Joe Frank shows a day until I was literally losing my mind.  Then I got into the 7 Second Delay archives and eventually my soul was saved by TBSOWFMU, the FOT board, and the solitaire game that came with my p.c.  I would get so bored I'd want to smash my head into the wall.  It was crazy.  You should get a new job.  My job I have now is way harder, but it pays better, it actually MATTERS if I show up or not, which means more on-the-job stress, but it also means I don't feel completely worthless.  And I still make time to put really long entries into FOT message board threads. 

[SpaceBootz]

Sarah, I don't really have any work stories like that. Those two jobs of yours sounded especially horrifying. For me, the horror is that I'm beginning to feel like I'm wasting my life here when I could be doing something more meaningful. And that it's just not what I'm supposed to be doing? But I'm not sure about any of this really. I'm a graphic artist at a local group of newspapers. The reason I originally got into it is because I've always had a thing for art. However, when you start looking at careers in art and relating that to being able to support yourself.. there isn't much out there. So, I was like, "Oh, graphic design--it's art-related and you can supposedly make money doing it." But I've found that I just don't like it. What I like about art is making my own personal drawings, paintings, etc. Designing advertisements is so far away from what I enjoy about art. It's strange though--because you would think that with being able to design something you can put some of yourself into it. But no, it's not like that. It's very production-oriented and there's already specific looks that every client has and you can't veer from them. Regardless of all of that, even if I had a design position that allowed me to be more creative.. it's still the same because it's not coming from you. It's an assignment that's given to you. So with art, I've realized that I'm only interested in making my own personal pieces and I feel I can do that on my own and I should have never tried to find a job in this field. I feel now that there's something else out there that I should be doing--and when I find it I can do that and still create my artwork on my own time and for myself. The only problem is that I don't know where to start, in terms of this new field. But I am interested in volunteering somewhere I think, because I feel as if it would serve more of a purpose and I'd be helping out and contributing something good to the world in some way. Graphic design is so..eh, creating advertisements.. why? So that people can go out and buy more things..? It's not what I should be doing.

By the way, what is your current job? You mentioned during the mini show that you freelance from home?

[John Junk]

At the first of the two worst jobs I ever had, I passed the time chain-smoking.  I was fourteen, working in a horrible souvenir shop in Old Orchard, ME, from 9 to 9, six days a week, for $70/wk. 

Just re-read this.  That's nuts!

[KickTheBobo]

I had a boring-ass job as a admin assistant for a few years at some investment firm, where I would do NOTHING at all (except answer the phone) for weeks on end. Sometimes, I would just print out an excel speadsheet of random numbers, attach it to a clipboard and roam around for hours. nobody messes with you if you have a clipboard.

It might be a good idea to utilize your time at the PC to acquire a new skill, like writing html (you can use notepad) or making a comic in MS Paint. Blogging might also help to pass the time.

Just remember, you aren't going to be there forever.

On a related note, check out this book: The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron

Alot of it is new-agey self-affirmation type stuff, but the exercises really help to give you a better understanding of what you should be doing with your creative self.

[SpaceBootz]

John, where I work there is definitely an air of negativity. And it gets to you after taking it all in day in and day out. I think that's probably a big contributing factor to my complaining and whining. I really feel that a job, any job, can be so much easier/enjoyable if you just have some "positive" people around you or just people who even care to talk to you really. I loved reading your post though. My favorite bit was that dark Joe Frank phase you mentioned. I can only imagine. I just feel so isolated here. It's like I'm in a pitch black room and the only relief is a tiny bit of light creeping in through a crack in the wall--and that little light represents the FOT board. If they were to cut off internet altogether I might lose my mind completely. I'd be stuck in a room full of shadows who have no desire to communicate in any way other than negativity. And I don't want to become a shadow myself. So I know I have to get out. I just have to figure exactly what it is I should be doing.

[SpaceBootz]

KickTheBobo: That is my constant worry..that I'm going to get stuck here because I won't be able to find anything else. It's happened to other people here. So it's like, what if I am here forever?

Thanks for the link to that book, by the way..I am going to check it out.

[Sarah]

Just re-read this.  That's nuts!

Well, it was a long, long time ago.  And the store owners thought I was sixteen--that makes it all okay, right?

SpaceBootz, I'm a copy editor.  And I'm the worst person in the world to give any useful suggestions about work.  My aim in life has always been to do as little as possible.  I can stand what I do now because it usually involves no more than 2.5-3 hours of work a day, with plenty of days off.  And while I'm not usually terribly gripped by the books I work on, they're not awful, and I'm less bored than I could be.  Plus I learn weird stuff.

Book design always seemed like an interesting job to me.  Maybe you could check that out.  It's probably pretty competitive, but, hey, maybe if you shopped your portfolio around, you'd click somewhere.  Go for the smaller independents (if such things still exist).  They might be more open-minded.  The drawback is they also almost certainly pay less.  But it could be worth it.

In the meantime, at least there's another show tomorrow.