Who can blame him? I've been thinking of getting a "Garamond" forehead tat for years.
Last month, I met a girl at a Times New Viking show. She got on my shoulders to help peel off some dumb Weirdos fliers that I kind of wanted while we were waiting in line for the bathroom. When it was my turn, I realized I had to pull more fliers off the walls for toilet paper usage. Later, it turned out we were parked next to each other in the same garage. I used my worst pick up line ever: "You had me at Helvetica." I had
her at Helvetica because she proceeded to lift up her skirt in order to reveal two large Helvetica puns tattooed onto her thighs. I was pretty drunk (don't worry, I had no intention of driving that night), so I can't remember exactly what it said, but it was pretty elaborate, and I laughed. I also remember that she claimed to be in a group of travel ling musicians that played nothing but kazoos and apple shakers. She showed me her apple shakers.
No lie.