The Best Award Show on WFMU

[Omar]

I feel like I need to repeat my vote for best guest host.

SETH GALIFIANAKIS.

This is very important.

I second the importance of this.  I mean, really:

"Jesus has risen, but the biscuits haven't." -- famous North Carolina Easter saying

"My cab driver's name was Foosball or something like that like Foosball. Or Ping Pong or something. It was crazy." -- Seth, discovering the cultural differences in New York City

"Those margaritas, you'd think they'd go away, but I'll tell you what, they still kickin' in a little bit." -- Seth on the lingering effects of the T.G.I. Friday's drinks he had earlier in the day

"Alright, that's it. He's gone. He's gone." Seth on Zach's landmark decision to pick Morris Day over Gloria Estefan

"We. both. like. ca-la-mari. We. both. like. The Fugees." -- Seth, finding some common ground with Zach

"It's got that fat Scientologist in it and that colored guy that went crazy." -- Seth, running through the cast of Wild Hogs

And let's not forget:

"Seth's hoping that the macramé will lead to some extended pride in the team as they head into summer practices, but he is also concerned that some of the players will get carpal punnel turndrome from the macramé sessions. Tom thinks that the QB should probably go a bit easy on the macramé, and Seth says that he's #4, so he'll only have to complete one digit."

[masterofsparks]

After listening to the 8/23/05 show on the archive, I've got to re-assert my love of Spike's calls. That show has some of his best/worst nicknaming - Twitney Spears and Baked Ziti Jones prompted Tom to predict Spike will become the next Al Jaffee.

[masterofsparks]

Hey folks:

I'm helping out by compiling sound clips of all of the violent threats and GOMPs you suggest for Tom to use during the show. If you'd like to make a nomination for either of these, could you help me out by making them before, say, 10pm EST tonight (2/4)? I want to make sure I can compile them and get them to Tom in time for the tomorrow night's show.

Thanks!

P.S. If you're going to nominate a GOMP or violent threat, please try to mention which show it's from and, if possible, the approximate time at which the call started. If you'd like to go even further and post an audio clip of the call, all the better.

[Dorvid Barnas]

Are there any other categories that still need nominations and clips?

[Martin]

I'll add a couple more later.

[ericluxury]

I have a nominee for Most Delusional or possibly Best GOMP but I am not sure what episode its from. Its the guy who had an internet radio show called Venison Stew who constantly laughed at himself and tried to rope Tom into a few terrible conversations. That contained some great moments.
Also, I don't think that James should be even mentioned. I've been relistening to the shows this weekend and he is a constant presence. Much worse than Spike who in small doses has some mileage.

[dave from knoxville]

Clark. I thought he was hilarious, unless he had mental problems, then I thought that someone should be overseeing/supervising his access to telephones. And I don't mean hilarious as in, he's saying this on purpose to make me laugh. I mean in a good-hearted but probably cruel at its center this-guy-has-no-idea-how-far-from-reality-he-is way.

If it was an act, it was on a level with Wurster's best.

[Omar]

I have a nominee for Most Delusional or possibly Best GOMP but I am not sure what episode its from. Its the guy who had an internet radio show called Venison Stew who constantly laughed at himself and tried to rope Tom into a few terrible conversations. That contained some great moments.

Clark's third call in the 9/11/07 show.  Not sure of the exact time, but it was the last call of the show.

"Clark estimates his listenership at less than 100. Tom's shocked at the low number, and he finally figures out what Clark's been up to tonight. He saw The Best Show as an opportunity to drive new listeners to "Venison Stew". Clark denies using Tom to push his program, citing his refusal to give the website. He wishes everyone good luck in trying to find it using Google due to the countless results for venison stew recipes. Clark says the show's name is based on his screen name of "venison88". Tom's had enough of the self-promotion and starts to feel the competitive heat, so he bans Clark for one year. Clark claims the fallacy of Internet radio is that people actually know it exists. It's too late. He starts crying, and Tom GOMPs him. Tom's been down this road before, and he doesn't want Clark showing up at the studio with a microphone and a cooler. Every time The Kid entertains an apparent psycho, they hurt him. Look for Clark to return in 2008!"

I look forward to his return after serving the one-year ban.

[Omar]

By the way, 9/11/07 is perhaps the finest show of 2007:

Tom vs. Henry Whirlyball discussion (w/ Ted)

A delightfully odd call from Michael K of The Cynics

Tom on Joe Torre's Bigelow Tea ads

Tom on Super Dave's decaying visage on CYE

Horse

Clark

Amazing.

[dave from knoxville]

Does no one have any love for Jens Hanneman?

[Omar]

Does no one have any love for Jens Hanneman?

I do.  He'd be my #2 pick for Best Guest behind Seth G.

[Martin]

Def Clark for MOST PATHETIC CALLER (and/or MOST DELUSIONAL).

[samir]

Does no one have any love for Jens Hanneman?

Petra Haden sucked out all of my affection for Jens and Fred's visit.

[Gilly]

BEST CALLER - Laurie (Your calls have definitely grown on me), John Junk (always is great for topic calls) and just as I was a Steinberg apologist I have to admit that I would be very sad if Spike ever stopped calling in.
WORST CALLER - Eh, I don't know. Sometimes the worst callers make for the best. The James saga turned into something better than James. I guess Julie for trashing the community. OR the ones who don't call in which makes me the worst caller.
MOST PATHETIC CALLER - Julie
MOST DELUSIONAL CALLER - Spike
BEST GOMP - Jessie Thorn
BEST GUEST - Fred Armisen
BEST BEST SHOW RECAPPER - Omar.
ROOKIE OF THE YEAR - Bonnie
SADDEST CALLER - I'm coming up empty here
BEST/MOST VIOLENT THREAT AGAINST TOM - So many to pick out just one.

[Joe Don from Astoria]

BEST CALLER - Spike
WORST CALLER - Spike
MOST PATHETIC CALLER - Spike
MOST DELUSIONAL CALLER - Spike
BEST GOMP - Law student querying Tom on vacation spots.  "You have what I like to call "rich people's problems."  Very satisfying.
BEST GUEST - Paul F Tompkins
BEST BEST SHOW RECAPPER - Omar
SADDEST CALLER - Spike

Had to come out for Spike; he's a Queens guy.  I liked the call where he hung up on Tom after enduring a comparison to the homeless doo-wop guys in "Rocky" and being told he probably had one knife, fork and spoon in the house.

When I think of doo-wop, I think of Spike, and also the verdict on doo-wop handed down by Joe Queenan:  "carcinogenic horseshit" that was washed clean from the charts by the British Invasion.