Why All Conjugations of James Must Go, Gone, Going, and Went

[tenspeed]

This thread risks the chance for further encouragement, the last thing The James Movement needs, but I can't resist.  It's like being stuck in traffic behind an accident on on the Pulaski Skyway.   You spend an hour cursing at everyone else for looking, but what happens when it's your turn?  Maybe a slight look out of the corner of your eye, if your lucky.   More times than not, a full fledged gawk--I'm sure.

And why do I relay this metaphor, BECAUSE IT'S HACKNEYED--just like being Jamesed.

Therefore, I would like to list the reasons why all conjugations of James must go, including "Jame," "James," "Jamesed," Jamesing," and the pluperfect "had jamesed."

1: It tries to hard, which is a bad thing if you're trying to impress the too-cool-for-school sect
2: It obviously never heard Mr. T from yesteryear, and if it had, it would realize it's trying to hard
3: It's not original enough for WFMU, Mr. T: original   
4: Does it want to replace "You've been rick rolled", if so go back to #1
5: Tom has successfully made it funny, which means the bad guys lost and it's time to move on

[Stupornaut]

I have a theory behind all this Jamesery: instead of desperately seeking approval, James actually gets a perverse kick out of being detested. He should get on the line during a Spike call and they can work out the precise nature of his sad, weird little masochism. Maybe some diffipline will work things out.

The thing is, Jimmy -- we should start calling him Jimmy to weaken the "brand recognition" -- would just be a fairly unremarkable, Goshen-lite mutant (at least from his on-air persona; his off-air cozying up to/taunting of Tom is super-creepy) if it wasn't for that catchphrase, which always bothered me because it has never adequately been established that being "Jamesed" actually means anything -- especially now -- outside tedium-fueled "here we go again"-type irritation. Being Jamesed is like the pasteurized process cheese food version of being zung.

[tenspeed]

Yeah, Jimmy is definitely attempting a branding campaign. 

He probably falls into either of two categories:

a) Jerky Boys mentality

b) He believes he's engaged some cerebral, dada inspired, public performance--which is actually more irritating than the Jerky Boys mentality

[todd]

Calling him Jimmy, Jim, Jimbo, or "Jimmy The Rug" is a great idea.

[Dorvid Barnas]

Jimmy Toup.

[dania]

How about calling him "That Guy Who Wears A Bad Toupee"

[Stupornaut]

Or "Hairpiece". Just "Hairpiece".

[tenspeed]

Jimmy in the morning, "what should I wear today?"  "I think I'll go blonde."

[Shaggy 2 Grote]

I really think it's a weave.

[iAmBaronVonTito]

I have a theory behind all this Jamesery: instead of desperately seeking approval, James actually gets a perverse kick out of being detested.

although, i dont think its a perverse kick as much as just good, old-fashioned attention.  it falls under, "theres no such thing as bad publicity".

[tenspeed]

Jimmy at work:
 


"Buy!" "Sell!" "No wait, buy!"

[WavyGravy]

pick up a can of spray paint  Jimmy!

[Beth]

Jimmy in the morning, "what should I wear today?"  "I think I'll go blonde."

auggggh!! tribbles give me nightmares.

[Regular Joe]

Jimmy in the morning, "what should I wear today?"  "I think I'll go blonde."

auggggh!! tribbles give me nightmares.

Warm, cuddly nightmares. I hear ya!

[Beth]

Jimmy in the morning, "what should I wear today?"  "I think I'll go blonde."

auggggh!! tribbles give me nightmares.

Warm, cuddly nightmares. I hear ya!

The horror I felt when I first saw that episode still stays with me. One is okay, but those things were coming out of every possible opening. Imagine those things living in the walls of your house. Everytime you open a door, a million tribbles fall out on top of you.