Author Topic: The Horrible Roommates Thread  (Read 10333 times)

Mason

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Re: The Horrible Roommates Thread
« Reply #30 on: May 15, 2008, 01:10:22 PM »
I love it because, even if he hated us, why not just eat the pasta? He ate pasta every single night. He made a special point to set that particular bag of pasta aside on principle, save it for two full years, and then ceremoniously give it back, rather than either eat it or throw it out. I love it.


I'd rather have a roommate with gross inconsiderate habits than live with a guy like that. That may be the most passive-aggressive person alive. He probably secretly harbored petty grievances for years but refused to communicate them, pretending everything was fine and dandy. All the while he seethed quietly, enamored with the twisted little drama playing out in his head. Over time the small things grew into full blown resentment.

I'm sure he was convinced he got one over by biding his time then striking the most hurtful blow he could imagine, but it really is hilarious. It just comes across as the impotent act of an emotional cripple.

I'd love the chance to punch this guy in the nuts. Just once.

I have never had a non-family roommate and thus no stories to contribute. But carry on FOTs.

mokin

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Re: The Horrible Roommates Thread
« Reply #31 on: May 15, 2008, 03:59:46 PM »
They didn't do anything about it until she was almost 6 months pregnant. At that point she had to drive down to Philly to get an abortion.

I'm no doctor, but that sounds a bit on the late side.
Back-alley abortion, maybe?

It's cutting it awfully close, but still legal. It varies from state to state, but past 6 months is generally illegal. I don't know the details, but I believe she had a hard time finding someone to do it, it cost a lot of money, and her parents had to get involved.

Sarah

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Re: The Horrible Roommates Thread
« Reply #32 on: May 15, 2008, 04:03:35 PM »
Since fetuses are borderline viable at six months, that must have been a horrible, horrible experience for that poor girl.  A hell of a lesson in the dangers of procrastination, though.

Phantom Hugger

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Re: The Horrible Roommates Thread
« Reply #33 on: May 15, 2008, 06:12:36 PM »
Moving from the US to Canada I found a roommate to 'share a house' with from the newspaper (this was pre-Craigslist days and I was no longer a student). She was second generation Armenian-Canadian by way of Montreal, seemed a bit 'witchy' but sane enough and had a steady job, a good record collection and I needed a place to live.

After a month or so she starts complaining about the quality of my dish-washing, garbage toting, grocery shopping, skills. It seemed like a stretch at the time but when she insisted that we rearrange the household chores so that I do all of Arnold's old tasks, and she'll take care of the rest. Huh?

Here I deduce that she needed a roommate because she had just broken up with her sleazy photographer BF, and couldn't afford the rent by herself. maybe she had fontasies of her and Arnold getting back together and was just biding her time. As reality/depression began to sink in, I started to become this weird surrogate BF replacement around the house.

She would corner me in the bathroom while I was shaving and confess all kinds of horrible drepessing shit about Arnold's abusive behavior. Ask me why men are like that and other unanswerable questions. I told her I was her roommate  not her soulmate, and that she REALLY needed to get professional help (I don't think it was that harsh but I was firm)

I came home once to her laying on her bed with candles listening to the Velvet Underground talking about how she had just taken all the pills in the house (she didn't).

So I spent less and less time there which turned me into an enemy. I'd come home to my stuff obviously riffled through. She'd call me at work and ask why I was 'against her'. I began to hide the knives.

After about a weeks absence I went 'home' to get some things and found the house surrounded by RCMP cars. The door is broken off the lock. There is a strange man's voice coming from inside. He lets me in and I discover about eight cops in the house... OH, did I mention that my roommate has been screaming her lungs out, "I'm going to killlll YOUUUUU!!!" over and over this whole time.

Turns out she called in her last goodbye/death threat against Arnold TO the cops, but they traced it to our house. The cops show up at the house, force their way in and then mace her to get her to drop a scissors she's brandishing (thank god I hid the knives). This is when the screaming begins. Granted those events were relayed to me by the cops on the scene, i can attest to the screaming and a scissors on the floor. After the fallout* they wheeled her out in plastic cuffs on a gurney and told me that she was being arrested under some law that required her to be under surveillance for three days.

I thought that would give me some time to pack and move. But later that night she came home barefoot with no visible ride (I still think she may have escaped).


*At one point the cops are asking me for some identification for her because she's not coherent much less cooperating, so I'm opening her desk drawers and lo and behold there's a big bag o' God's green herb. The cop says, "don't worry about that, we have more important things to worry about right now."

As they were leaving the same cop said, "She's not coming back for a few days, so if I were you I'd roll up some of what's in that bag there and relax." I know that sounds made up, but it is not. Maybe it will give you a clue as to which Canadian city this happened in.

Roommates no more. For life.

iAmBaronVonTito

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Re: The Horrible Roommates Thread
« Reply #34 on: May 15, 2008, 06:20:11 PM »
at least no girl roommates, anyway.  nothing against girls*, but horror stories with girl/GF roommates trump all other friend fall outs ive ever heard.




*seriously girls, no offense.  chances are, this is a coincidental thing.

joanna

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Re: The Horrible Roommates Thread
« Reply #35 on: May 15, 2008, 06:25:27 PM »
i was going to come in here and post stories about my pathological liar ex-roommate but after reading all of your stories, i feel like she wasn't so bad. i mean, she was a total nutjob, but i've had so much fun talking about her over the years (she could tell twice as many lies as consolidated cardboard bill in half the time, except she believes her lies), that it was almost worth living with her for nine months.

KickTheBobo

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Re: The Horrible Roommates Thread
« Reply #36 on: May 15, 2008, 07:04:55 PM »
Moving from the US to Canada I found a roommate to 'share a house' with from the newspaper (this was pre-Craigslist days and I was no longer a student). She was second generation Armenian-Canadian by way of Montreal, seemed a bit 'witchy' but sane enough and had a steady job, a good record collection and I needed a place to live.

After a month or so she starts complaining about the quality of my dish-washing, garbage toting, grocery shopping, skills. It seemed like a stretch at the time but when she insisted that we rearrange the household chores so that I do all of Arnold's old tasks, and she'll take care of the rest. Huh?

Here I deduce that she needed a roommate because she had just broken up with her sleazy photographer BF, and couldn't afford the rent by herself. maybe she had fontasies of her and Arnold getting back together and was just biding her time. As reality/depression began to sink in, I started to become this weird surrogate BF replacement around the house.

She would corner me in the bathroom while I was shaving and confess all kinds of horrible drepessing shit about Arnold's abusive behavior. Ask me why men are like that and other unanswerable questions. I told her I was her roommate  not her soulmate, and that she REALLY needed to get professional help (I don't think it was that harsh but I was firm)

I came home once to her laying on her bed with candles listening to the Velvet Underground talking about how she had just taken all the pills in the house (she didn't).

So I spent less and less time there which turned me into an enemy. I'd come home to my stuff obviously riffled through. She'd call me at work and ask why I was 'against her'. I began to hide the knives.

After about a weeks absence I went 'home' to get some things and found the house surrounded by RCMP cars. The door is broken off the lock. There is a strange man's voice coming from inside. He lets me in and I discover about eight cops in the house... OH, did I mention that my roommate has been screaming her lungs out, "I'm going to killlll YOUUUUU!!!" over and over this whole time.

Turns out she called in her last goodbye/death threat against Arnold TO the cops, but they traced it to our house. The cops show up at the house, force their way in and then mace her to get her to drop a scissors she's brandishing (thank god I hid the knives). This is when the screaming begins. Granted those events were relayed to me by the cops on the scene, i can attest to the screaming and a scissors on the floor. After the fallout* they wheeled her out in plastic cuffs on a gurney and told me that she was being arrested under some law that required her to be under surveillance for three days.

I thought that would give me some time to pack and move. But later that night she came home barefoot with no visible ride (I still think she may have escaped).


*At one point the cops are asking me for some identification for her because she's not coherent much less cooperating, so I'm opening her desk drawers and lo and behold there's a big bag o' God's green herb. The cop says, "don't worry about that, we have more important things to worry about right now."

As they were leaving the same cop said, "She's not coming back for a few days, so if I were you I'd roll up some of what's in that bag there and relax." I know that sounds made up, but it is not. Maybe it will give you a clue as to which Canadian city this happened in.

Roommates no more. For life.

um, her name wasn't Ani K., was it? I know somebody who fits this profile.

Dorvid Barnas

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Re: The Horrible Roommates Thread
« Reply #37 on: May 15, 2008, 07:08:36 PM »
This is the kind of thing that can happen when you name your son Arnold.

Regular Joe

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Re: The Horrible Roommates Thread
« Reply #38 on: May 15, 2008, 07:18:40 PM »
i was going to come in here and post stories about my pathological liar ex-roommate but after reading all of your stories, i feel like she wasn't so bad.

Seriously! The red-bull shilling crack head who claimed to have invented the 'Vodka Bull' and almost burned our house down while me and the GF slept, pales in comparison.

mokin

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Re: The Horrible Roommates Thread
« Reply #39 on: May 15, 2008, 07:55:29 PM »
If you enjoy roommate horror stories, I suggest the book "He Died With A Felafel in His Hand" by John Birmingham. It's basically a collection of anecdotes of all the weird and terrible roommates the author has had. It made me laugh out loud consistently, and it has great re-read value. It's also a great bathroom book, since it's not linear or plot-focused.

Phantom Hugger

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Re: The Horrible Roommates Thread
« Reply #40 on: May 16, 2008, 12:41:11 PM »

Quote
um, her name wasn't Ani K., was it? I know somebody who fits this profile.


no

Quote
This is the kind of thing that can happen when you name your son Arnold.

the names in tonight's  story have been changed to protect the identities of the innocent

Susannah

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Re: The Horrible Roommates Thread
« Reply #41 on: May 23, 2008, 02:19:36 AM »
Exciting development: I found a new one-bedroom apartment!  Moving in July.  I can't promise I won't decorate the walls of this place in blood when I leave.

OK, well, maybe I can.













Can I?

Matt

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Re: The Horrible Roommates Thread
« Reply #42 on: May 23, 2008, 03:01:48 AM »
the cat's dingleberries

That's the opposite of "the cat's meow," right? If not, it should be!
It ain't ego, it's my love for you.

Josh

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Re: The Horrible Roommates Thread
« Reply #43 on: May 23, 2008, 08:49:16 AM »
Exciting development: I found a new one-bedroom apartment!  Moving in July.

CONGRATS!
"Alright, well, for the sake of this conversation, let's say the book does not exist."

andrew in philadelphia

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Re: The Horrible Roommates Thread
« Reply #44 on: May 23, 2008, 10:52:31 AM »
My freshman roommate in college was pretty terrible.

-He was a Drama major.
-He listened to the Rent soundtrack a lot.
-Also "Walking to Memphis."
-He wore a beret.
-More than once he left the "I'm in our room having sex" sign on our door all night, meaning I would be locked out and have to sleep in the common room or a friend's room.
-He had sex with his girlfriend while I was sleeping in the same room.
-He tried to date-rape a girl while I was sleeping in the same room.
-After two pregnancy scares with two different girls, he got his girlfriend pregnant. They didn't do anything about it until she was almost 6 months pregnant. At that point she had to drive down to Philly to get an abortion (the school was in Allentown). He didn't go with her, didn't support her at all, emotionally or financially.

what college was this if you don't mind me asking?

and this is the best thread ever.