My wee little brother, up in the cold wilds of Rochester NY, really wanted a Wii for Christmas.
I didn't want to wait on line, though, because I heard that Bowser was going around raping people, and that the Koopa's were videotaping it and selling the videos on Ebay, and that Bullet Bill was, well, I'm not even going to explain it, but it's painful, and that that Blowfish guy was in the port-o-john, poking people in the rear, and that the Hammer Brothers were beating people down, and that Big Boo was scaring people and stealing their Wii after they'd already bought it, and that Little Boo were crawling into peoples skulls and freaking them out, and Birdo was standing high above on the Best Buy eaves, watching ominously, and that there were bums behind the store cooking Yoshi eggs and cackling, and that Luigi was lying in a puddle of his own waste pleasuring himself with FLUDD, and and and
I just didn't think it was worth the risk.
