"Psycho Dandy" forced to police his moosetache

[yesno]

via "The Chap."

A man has vowed to shave off his handlebar moustache after being convicted of assaulting some teenage boys who mocked his pride and joy.

[...]

The Chap, whose editorial staff are occasionally on the receiving end of casual insults and mockery on account of their eccentric appearance and striking facial furniture, at first sympathised with Mr. Law, even in the light of previous court appearances for affray and threatening behaviour. But when one discovers that Law also has a conviction for manslaughter - he was jailed in 2000 for four years after he stabbed his brother to death - one realises that this is no mere eccentric, but someone who has delved rather too deeply into the darker side of dandyism and moustache cultivation. Let us give thanks that for every crazed Charles Law, there are a dozen jovial Jimmy Edwards.

http://www.thechap.net/content/section_news/law.html

[KickTheBobo]

geez. there are other ways of deflecting all that "What's up, Liam Neeson?" attention without growing that disease magnet. try a hat & shades next time, chap.

[mike_b]

Are these guys for real?

If so, they owe Billy Childish royalties.

[yesno]

Are these guys for real?

If so, they owe Billy Childish royalties.

Billy Childish must owe Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. big time.

[Wes]

I really like that he has only vowed to shave off his handlebar moustache. If he was really going to do it, he would have shaved it right away. That moustache isn't going anywhere, because the moustache is running the show.

I bet that any time he gets in front of the bathroom mirror and the vaguest notion of shaving the moustache off creeps into his mind, his face muscles involuntarily twitch, making the ends of the moustache bob up and down, and he hears a voice in his head - most likely an old-timey boxer's voice - saying "You don't want to do this, Charles. What would you do without me, Charles? A day without a moustache? Why, Charles, that would be a day where they all have to die, wouldn't it? Let's just go buy some more moustache wax, old chum. That way, Charles, we won't have to hear the screaming again."

You know, this could have been Spoony, if he'd continued on in his role as a moustache enthusiast.

[iAmBaronVonTito]

i remain to this day a Spoony mustache enthusiast.