Unintentional Conversation Starters -- ugh!

[theyellowchair]

My ol' reliable cell phone broke a while back, and I wound up purchasing the Samsung "Juke" -- a slender, bizarre contraption which demands a 180-degree screen flip in order to place calls, answer texts, etc.



The decision to purchase this phone was entirely borne of feasibility (it is surprisingly Verizon's cheapest model). However, this phone is an UNINTENTIONAL CONVERSATION STARTER. Anytime I pick it up to check the time or answer a call, I'm confronted by a barrage of questions regarding its size, its durability, its functionalities -- "How do you dial on that thing?" "Isn't it annoying to send text messages with that phone?" And so on and so forth.

Do you own something/display something on a daily basis that is an UNINTENTIONAL CONVERSATION STARTER? Perhaps an interesting name (or maybe not, since Mo Primo exhausted that conversation), or an occupation, or anything else that is A) completely socially unavoidable and B) definitely not intended to be the subject of any conversation.

Please share!   

[Andy]

I get a lot of questions when I where my cock sock.

[Andy]

oh no, wrong wear and I can't edit from my phone.

[Emily]

Another reason to always go with the second cheapest electronic device.

[Jack from Arkansas]

I'm 6'4" and wear size fifteen shoe.  People frequently ask if it's hard to get shoes in my size.  It's not a mean question but after I tell them I can get them in my size but most shoes look ridiculous in extra large proportions; the conversation just stalls-- ugh.

[masterofsparks]

My Scar-face marathon premium shirt.

My wife gets similar questions to Jack from Arkansas since she's 6'2" - not so much about the shoes, but interesting stuff like "Boy, you're tall!" Men attempting to chat her up will usually open with some variation on this line, apparently not realizing that such comments are the bane of her existence and likely to cause an immediate polite brush-off.

[Shaggy 2 Grote]

My Gwar costume.

[Andy]

I'm 6'4" and wear size fifteen shoe.  People frequently ask if it's hard to get shoes in my size.  It's not a mean question but after I tell them I can get them in my size but most shoes look ridiculous in extra large proportions; the conversation just stalls-- ugh.

I wear a 14 and get a lot of the same.  It is a bitch to find shoes, but I tend to stockpile.

[yesno]

I hate "what are you listening to?"

There are a whole number of things that I don't like to talk about but that people like to bring up. 

Men attempting to chat her up will usually open with some variation on this line, apparently not realizing that such comments are the bane of his existence and likely to cause an immediate polite brush-off.

Does your wife's gender-morphing set tongues wagging, too?

[Dan B]

These are good peacocking tips.

[masterofsparks]

I hate "what are you listening to?"

There are a whole number of things that I don't like to talk about but that people like to bring up. 

Men attempting to chat her up will usually open with some variation on this line, apparently not realizing that such comments are the bane of his existence and likely to cause an immediate polite brush-off.

Does your wife's gender-morphing set tongues wagging, too?

Not as much as the height thing, oddly enough.

[samir]

"Oh you're from England? I went there once!"
or
"Oh you're from England? My uncle lives there!"
or
"Oh you're from England? Do you know Prince William?"

[Trembling Eagle]

These are good peacocking tips.

1st thing I thought...

[jbissell]

"Oh you're from England? I went there once!"
or
"Oh you're from England? My uncle lives there!"
or
"Oh you're from England? Do you know Prince William?"

I would've expected it to be "I didn't know Indians lived in England?!"

[emma]

I had cateract surgery when I was two weeks old, so I have crazy eyes. They're two different colours, one of my pupils doesn't dilate so it's perma-tiny, and one of them kind of wanders off on its own, cookie-monster-like, when I'm tired. Some people know me for years before they notice, but a lot of people on the street/on the subway notice it right off the bat.

I don't mind getting "hey, you have eyes like David Bowie/Thom Yorke/that girl from the movie Blue Crush/a dog i had once" (that one happens ALL THE TIME and there is no way to respond to it except for the nod-and-smile), but every so often, a complete stranger will come up to me and go "HAS ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU THAT YOUR EYES ARE REALLY WEIRD?"