Unintentional Conversation Starters -- ugh!

[A.M. Thomas]

(although, you have a pretty intimidating voice, Thomas.)

i have the same problem as Emily (i'm 5' even), but not near the problems.  i seem to have lots of tall friends, but they all appreciate my small stature.  i refuse to wear shoes to make me taller and ive never had a problem with my I.D.  however, i do get from strangers, "Oh my god, you're really short!" a lot.  not to mention, around halloween and christmas, there are plenty of jokes about being an oompa loompa or an elf.  also, lots of trash talk when we go out and we're forced to sit on bar stools or i have to use the handicap stall in the bathroom- my feet dont touch the ground.

but i will say it makes it easy for me to get to the front at shows when i need to, sleep on love seats when the couch is taken, and im just generally more adorable thanks to my small size.

Does this mean there's less of you to love?

good heavens, i hope not. 


besides, i hear i give the best hugs; if anything, that makes me easier to love. 

I can vouch for this.

[Ignore Function]

Mine is similar to Beth's.  I have the same name as some N.F.L. quarterback. Bank tellers and mechanics especially seem to draw attention to this fact.   I have zero interest in football.

[Emily]

My name. I feel comfortable enough that you guys won't stalk me if I tell you my whole name. It's Elizabeth Barrett.

My whole damned life, every time I introduce myself to someone it's been "Oh, like Elizabeth Barrett Browning?" Or, "It's so appropriate that you're a literature major, isn't it?"

Yes, I suppose. I've never HEARD that before. You're so clever.

Ha! Once I briefly dated a guy named "Dave Dickinson" and he was like, "If we get married you'll be Emily Dickinson".

[Gregory]

I seem to have a look that feels "familiar" to everyone I meet.  I do not usually get equated with someone famous, but it is always "You totally remind me of my friend Paul" or "Gosh, isn't he a lot like Dan?!"

What does one say to this?  I don't know Paul. I don't know Dan.  They may be equating me with a good-looking Mensa member or they may be equating me with the guy on their front stoop who wears a Hefty bag and swears at passing kids.

This happens to me with some frequency as well. I usually say "yeah, I get that a lot, I guess I just have a pretty generic face." Most times, the person I'm speaking with will immediately go "no no...." and try and find ways to compliment me, which I like.

[John Junk 2.0]

I share a last name with these creeps:



I was given a reprieve from having to recognize that they the gentleman with the mustache was not my dad for most of the nineties, but then he came back with his whole crappy crap family and now I go through the same business all over again.  That, and I live on a street that rhymes with my name, which for some reason people that work at tire shops find HI-LARIOUS.  I say this because they've started laughing uncontrollably at noticing this coincidence at two different and unrelated tire shops and no one else seems to give a shit.

[Sarah]

Is there any way my secret santa FOT can send me a voice modulator?

How about a tank of helium?

[senorcorazon]

I seem to have a look that feels "familiar" to everyone I meet.  I do not usually get equated with someone famous, but it is always "You totally remind me of my friend Paul" or "Gosh, isn't he a lot like Dan?!"

What does one say to this?  I don't know Paul. I don't know Dan.  They may be equating me with a good-looking Mensa member or they may be equating me with the guy on their front stoop who wears a Hefty bag and swears at passing kids.

I get this ALL the time. People young and old, far and wide, seem to think I remind them of their friend Steve from grade school. When I taught in the projects they thought I looked like Eminem, but that made sense since white people all look the same.

If you ever figure out a good response to this one, let me know.

[senorcorazon]

I share a last name with these creeps:



I was given a reprieve from having to recognize that they the gentleman with the mustache was not my dad for most of the nineties, but then he came back with his whole crappy crap family and now I go through the same business all over again.  That, and I live on a street that rhymes with my name, which for some reason people that work at tire shops find HI-LARIOUS.  I say this because they've started laughing uncontrollably at noticing this coincidence at two different and unrelated tire shops and no one else seems to give a shit.

Your name is John Bollea?


You sure do spend a lot of time a tire shops.

[Jixby Phillips]

As a kid, I saw star wars kinda late. I mean, it was on video for my childhood. I was born the year Jedi came out. Some people think that's what inspired the name Luke, no joke.

So imagine growing up and having kids on the playground constantly referencing one of the biggest spoilers in movie history to you: "LUKE... I AM YOUR FATHER"

I also got Maxwell-house, and Maxwell Smart from Adults.

But I've only heard this ONCE:

"Luke Maxwell. So, do you max well?"

[Jixby Phillips]

Also I worked for a movie theater for years and accrued a collection of movie t-shirts that would ultimately become part of my regular wardrobe. So people would approach me and ask me why I was such a big fan of "Christmas with the Kranks"

(my best movie shirt: Barbershop 2 on the front, Agent Cody Banks 2 on the back. figure that one out).

[Martin]

I have a DMX/Steven Seagal EXIT WOUNDS t-shirt. I don't even know where I got it from.

[masterofsparks]

It could be worse, John Junk. I share a last name with this guy:



To be honest, this hasn't been much of a conversation starter since, say, 1988, but just when I think I've seen the end of it, some bad-movie lifer brings it up and I'm forced to revisit the horror all over.

At least he's got the Toy Story thing going for him.

[samir]

(my best movie shirt: Barbershop 2 on the front, Agent Cody Banks 2 on the back. figure that one out).

That is fantastic.

[dave from knoxville]

I share the same first name with



I don't even want to share the same world with him.

I can't tell you how many times I have introduced myself as David and the response has been "Like that racist bastard, huh?" It's a constant bone of contention.

[buffcoat]

As a kid, I saw star wars kinda late. I mean, it was on video for my childhood. I was born the year Jedi came out. Some people think that's what inspired the name Luke, no joke.

So imagine growing up and having kids on the playground constantly referencing one of the biggest spoilers in movie history to you: "LUKE... I AM YOUR FATHER"

I also got Maxwell-house, and Maxwell Smart from Adults.

But I've only heard this ONCE:

"Luke Maxwell. So, do you max well?"

Wait, I thought your name was Jixby Phillips.