You must not watch a lot of sit coms, Bobo. If you did, you'd know that great big fat guys almost unfailingly get slender, attractive broads to wed and bed them.
In honor of the writer's strike, I've submitted 15 "According to Jim" scripts that I came up with at lunch.
For ex:
Jim Goes to the Circus. Jim goes to the circus. He accidentally kills a clown, then spends the rest of the episode stuffing the clown's body into different funny circus places.
A Very Special Episode. Jim goes blind. He spends the rest of the episode rebuilding his motorcycle to try to regain his sight. He rebuilds the bike perfectly, gets up to walk and receive the love of his family and smashes into the garage door. Hot Melrose Wife closes the episode with "At first I thought it was hysterical blindness; now I just think it's hysterical."
Jim Works at A Fast Food Place. Jim can see again, which is never explained or referenced. He loses his job doing whatever he does. He doesn't want hot wife to find out, so he gets a job managing a fast food place... he thinks. Really, he's working at the drive through window. His ex-boss comes in and sees Jim working so hard for minimum wage that he offers his old job back... at minimum wage. Jim and Less Hot All the Time Melrose Wife move into a tiny trailer.
Jim Goes to the Carnival. Jim lives in his old house again, which is never explained. Jim goes to the carnival. He accidentally kills a sideshow barker, then spends the rest of the episode stuffing the sideshow barker's body into different funny carnival places.
Who am I kidding? No way the According to Jim writers are in the union.