First Line of a Story

[The Haacksawist]

I've been burning posts (creatively, though), so I thought I'd start a thread with my 50th post wherein I'll start a story with one line and then we'll see where it goes.  Have fun.  Or don't, I guess.

The first line is...

And then he jumped.

[iAmBaronVonTito]

for the past half hour he couldn't get his heartburn to subside and the jumping only made things worse.

[steve davidson]

"That swindler Casey Cazmandiar has sold me my last pair of cure-all jumping pants, that's for sure." he said.

[Chris L]

He cursed these recent developments, as well as the parents who had shirked their civilized duty to name him. 

[hugman]

His mind flashed bitterly back to second grade rollcall: "Billy Herzog?  Here.  Timothy Hiller? Here....Him?.....Here."

[JustSheaNo]

He jumped again. He jumped again and cursed his name as the pain flared up, up, up into his throat and he screamed,

[Regular Joe]

"Why won't my throat stop burning!? What did I do to deserve your torment, throat?"

[ShawnFromUtah]

"Damn you, lower esophageal sphincter! You sound like the lousy name of a lousy grindcore band! Made up of high school kids from rural Indiana!"

[mnordine]

The burning feeling in his upper G.I continued to increase. However, in his midst to find a remedy for this, such as drinking copious amounts of Antacid, sitting in his refrigerator was an unfilled prescription for a proton-pump inhibitor, which if taken, could ease the pain. However, due to the crippling agoraphobia, leaving the house to fulfill this prescription was not an option.

[Stanley]

Then, as it always did at the appointed hour, the phone rang... "Hello?"  "Don Rickles?"

[Joe Rogaine]

I remember seeing something similar to this on another forum, but it was what would be your opening joke be if you were doing stand up.

[Biscuit Gravy]

Baffled at the prospect of Don Rickles being able to successfully decipher a Captcha, no less his ability to formulate a reply that would convey his sick brand of off-color diatribes as an 'opening joke' on a seldom-used message board dedicated to a very specific type of Japanese anime-pillow fetishcism, the only clear choice, once again, was to jump.

[buffcoat]

"Our Band Could Be Your Life": not very likely, he thought, and then frowned.


Wait, I think I misinterpreted the import of this post. Still.

[Biscuit Gravy]

the delusions brought upon him while jumping were second only to the time he took ayahuasca, and performed the elaborate mating rituals of a poisonous tree frog with the wild-eyed shaman of a hitherto unknown tribe, deep within the South American rainforest; the very act which inspired this lifelong need to jump.

[Biscuit Gravy]

"hey, it's better than burning posts", he said, as he licked his nictitating membrane.