Top Chef D.C. (Season 7)

[Martin]

I like Kevin, the Jersey guy.

Kenny was a bit obnoxious but at least looked like he could back it up. He aced that quickfire, which I did not expect. Angelo has a ridiculous way about him that makes me wanna punch him in the face. Needs to be put in his place. The way he threw Monte Carlo around and namedropped a bunch of places/people annoyed me.

As been mentioned elsewhere (maybe in this thread), many cheftestants are not only "old" but also surprisingly accomplished already. Not exactly young beginners finding their way in the culinary world. Not sure I dislike that or not, it's just interesting.

The top four in this episode looks like a possible final four, based on pretty much nothing. Tracy early candidate for Villain. Classless. No sympathies for Ohio dude either. Hippie John(ny?) felt completely out of place.



Yes, bosoms.

[senorcorazon]

So glad this is back.

Beardo, don't let me down.

Sorry, you can't win one of the highest awards in chefdom and THEN GO ON A REALITY SHOW.

Agreed, bosoms. It's like she was threatened by Gail last year and grew additional bosom power in order to fight and win.

[Sarah]

* Pretty boring episode, I thought.  Gimmicky QF with boring results and an uninspired elimination challenge. 

* My thoughts as people were brainstorming their lunch menus:  "Gnocchi?!?"  "Feta?!?"  "Pickled onions?!?"  "Sherry jus?!?"

* Angelo is a sleazy bastard.  Watching him schmooze Tracey was painful.  Watching her respond to it hurt even more.

* Two pounds of sugar in a dessert meant to serve fifty-four (including the judges)?  Crikey.

* I have never seen contestants go at it so ferociously at judges' table. 

* Current me would probably have liked the taco lunch the best.  Kid me would have had problems with all of them:

** Braised Chicken Thigh in a Sherry Jus; Bean & Tomato Salad with Pickled Red Onions & Apple Cider Vinaigrette; Sweet Onion Rice &  Tomato, Carrots & Green Onions, Banana Pudding with Skim Milk; Strawberries & Strawberry Sauce -- I might have deigned to pick at the chicken, and, if I'd been in the right mood, I would have separated the rice from all the contaminants and eaten that (I was a great sorter of my food).  I would have refused the salad (tomatoes, green beans, etc.) and the dessert (bananas)

** Grilled Apple Cider BBQ Chicken & Picnic Coleslaw with Yogurt; Mac & Cheese with Whole Wheat Crust, Skim Milk & Low-Fat Cheese; Fresh Melon Kebab with Orange Chantilly Dipped in Yogurt -  Again, I would have tried the chicken.  Possibly the mac and cheese, although if I could have perceived onions in it, I would have snubbed it.  Coleslaw?  Never (mayonnaise).  The dessert?  Never (melon).

** Chicken Burger with Fiesta Rice; “Peanut Butter and Celery Crudite” with Crispy Tuile; Sweet Potato Puree with Cinnamon; Apple Bread Pudding with Cinnamon Yogurt -  Oddly, here I might have eaten the peanut butter-celery mess, because I grew up tolerating the delicacy called by some "bugs on a raft."  If I'd known there was yogurt on the dessert, I would have refused it.  I would have fled screaming from the burger and the sweet potato glop.

** Braised Pork Carnitas Tacos with Pickled Onions & Cilantro; Roasted Corn Salad with Cilantro Lime Vinaigrette, Chili Oil, Sugar, Salt & Lime Juice; Black Bean Cake with Whole Grain & Sweet Crispy Potatoes; Caramelized Sweet Potatoes & Sherbert -  I would have hated every single thing on this tray.

There.  I'm sure you found fascinating this peek at the fussy brat I was as a child.

[Sarah]

P.S.  I loathe Kelly and Amanda.

[Omar]

Per usual, there is little left to add to Sarah's assessment.  In general, I don't care for the budget-crunch and kids-focused (Spike certainly didn't cook up that EC!) challenges, especially when the latter is just an anonymous throng (I don't even think they showed more than about three kid comments on the food).  As Sarah noted, the conjoined twins QF was dumb.

The Top Chef kid challenges always seem very problematic to me.  As Sarah noted, the younger palates are likely to reject most of the stuff that would impress the judges, and when you throw in the nutrition angle, you end up with a cooking challenge reduced to replacing mayo with yogurt in coleslaw (oddly dubbed "brilliant" by White House Dude -- that seems like a no-brainer to me) or a clump of rice with vegetables (way to not redeem yourself the chump I picked to win).  Both items are, in theory, good, healthy components of a cafeteria lunch, but not exactly riveting viewing.  Team Pork Carnitas was clearly the best.  I was surprised none of the teams attempted a play on pizza, perhaps with some kind of flatbread application.  I'm not sure if this was universal, but I recall that on taco days at school, the tray always included a cinnamon roll.  I probably would have recreated that surprisingly good union.  

Through two episodes, I think all of these cheftestants are complete clowns.  I've been much more intrigued by Work of Art -- last night's episode gave use Mary Shelley speed-reading and "Jane Austin."

[Omar]

In a sick way, I kind of enjoyed Angelo's possible attempt at throwing the challenge to get Kenny booted.  The chefs this season seem so dull that an injection of villainy might keep things interesting.

[Sarah]

I have no doubt Angelo tried to throw the challenge.  His manipulation of Tracey revealed him as a complete sleazebucket.

I liked last night's Work of Art way better than Top Chef.  It helped that I feel competent to evaluate book covers.  [preen]I correctly picked winner, runner-up, loser, and co-losers.[/preen]  

What the hell, I'll ramble on about that show, too (you poor FOT--how you suffer for my hermitlike existence).  Note:  many, many spoilers.

* The exhibitionist girl who misspelled Austen is a pip.  Pride and Prejudice is tragic?  And Darby!  Plus, I don't care how you slice it, a half-nude female holding a bowler hat can never cut it as a suitable cover for that book.  Jaclyn is just lucky Judith's travesty was so much worse than hers.

* When I was reading up on this show last week, I came across a lot of Miles dislike.  I don't know--I don't mind the kid.  I particularly appreciated his choice to read the book for which he was supposed to be designing a cover.  (Sidenote:  I think it was the winner who could not believe someone could read Frankenstein in four hours--come on!  And I got the impression most of them hadn't read most/any of the books.  Shit, I'd read all of 'em by the time I was sixteen.  Philistines.).  And I thought he handled crazy old Judith kindly.  Barely got a look at his cover design, and I thought the conceit of using an electrical fire for the burning was pretty silly (who was going to know or care that the guy who did the cover art for the book s/he's reading chose a specific kind of fire to pick up on the electrical storm in the book?), but I'm kind of liking his attitude.

* I also sort of like Nicole, who seems competent.  Her cover was charming, if utterly impractical.

* I thought little of John's War of the Worlds cover at first, but when he added that little ladder, I knew it was the winner.  It really is a great cover: the bright colors in the ball of abstraction pop off the page--hell, they almost seem to be roiling around--and the dinky little ladder is funny and charming and, most important, lets you know what the ball of abstraction actually is.  The runner-up was slickly competent, but much more hackneyed and obvious.  

* Who the hell is Bethenny and why are we supposed to care about her wedding?

[thom]

Stinky Dreads and Blondie are the first two to go home, obvs.

CLAP!

[senorcorazon]

Stinky Dreads and Blondie are the first two to go home, obvs.

CLAP!

Fly high Greenpoint. HIGH.

[Sarah]

Pretty dull episode.  It's bad when the quickfire is more interesting than the elimination.  Not that the quickfire was gripping, mind you, but the consternation so many showed at the prospect of making pie was pretty fun.  All the talk of the precision and measuring involved in making desserts, and then . . . pie?  Hell, you don't even really need to measure to make a crust, as long as you have a basic grip on proportion, and pie innards can be pretty much anything you want.  Are we to believe these geniuses had never made at least a savory concoction that involved a crust?

About fillings, though, I suppose there are some parameters.  Celery mousse, for example, is ill advised.  And, yes, a pie made with juicy fruits/berries does need a bit of binder.  But are these not matters of basic knowledge and common sense?  Shouldn't Tracey have figured out that she needed to toss her blueberries with a little flour or cornstarch to avoid having the filling slop out all over the plate?  Well, it's true that she admitted she'd never made a pie before.  Which reminds me:  I liked Iannuzzi's crack that his grandmother isn't a professional chef yet she can make a pie.

I can find barely anything to say about the elimination.  I was amused when one of the idiots (Tracey again, I think) said, "How do you turn this grill down?" when they were using charcoal.  And I was startled when Angelo not only complimented someone else's work but said he thought it was better than his. 

RIP, Tracey.  You were this season's Jesse, without the lip biting and tears.  Was it your clairvoyance that made you so sure you were the one who was going to be booted?

[Omar]

Once again, Work of Art was much better than Top Chef.  Perhaps TC needs to introduce the use of bodily fluids into the culinary mix.

[Sarah]

Boy, I cannot stand that Jaclyn, though.  I was so relieved that Abdi won.

Wish they hadn't kicked off Nao.  I was enjoying seeing what she came up with, even if I didn't necessarily like it.

[Kim Kelly]

Stinky Dreads and Blondie are the first two to go home, obvs.

CLAP!

Oh man, I'm so proud of myself.

Although I didn't realize until last week that I've actually had Andrea's food. I've eaten a Talulah and she also caters my mom's place of work. Average, at best. She's not going to come close to winning.

Also, I would like to watch Disney movies with Milo Miles.

[waltkellysghost]

I couldn't help but feel a bit of Nashville pride when Arnold pulled out the win. I confess I haven't tried his restaurants. I've heard good things about Suzy Wong's.

[Martin]

I need to get on this Work of Art train. Missed the first couple episodes, will try and catch up. People seem to like it.

And, yes, a pie made with juicy fruits/berries does need a bit of binder. 

The Alpha male's girlfriend's name, whom he got a letter from, is called Juicy. I found that amusing enough to rewind to make sure he didn't say Lucy.

Tracey's elimination definitely made me question her clairvoyance.