Hey kids! When I said "there is no way to write this paper without going to the library and doing some research," I didn't mean, "just spend 15 minutes googling stuff." And also, when I'm giving you the names of authors you should read, I'm helping you! And one student whom I strongly suspect to be a suicide girl: no, it does not count as a textual reference if you mention Playboy magazine somewhere in your paper.
And, finally, I don't actually hate you for any of the above. I only hate you if you don't listen to any of it and then get mad at me when you fail.