Stuff you hate (aka: the new f. you thread)

[Sarah]

The forged-instruments one is easy, though, the answer being yes.  I am, however, curious what instruments were forged, how, and why.

I liked this one:

During this weekend's football playoff game in Green Bay, the temperature at kickoff was 0 degrees, and by the end of the game was -4 degrees. When players get injured in such weather, do they bother putting ice on the injury? Wouldn't that warm up the injury to 32 degrees?

Also this one, which I picture being posed by a young Spike:

Is the stomach normally full of air like a balloon, or is it squeezed flat by the other organs, like a balloon with no air that spreads open as food and water come in? Are the other organs squeezed and compressed like a squeezed sponge, or are they like a sponge not being squeezed? What about the intestines? Are they squeezed flat normally, or are they open like one of those long balloons that magicians make animals out of? I'm trying to get a picture in my mind what the inside of the body normally looks like.

Other favorites:

Please explain the method of formation and origin of black holes. Are they located at the Bermuda Triangle area and why there?

I live in Chicago, where taxi drivers are constantly talking on their phones. To whom are they talking?

[Yer Fedge]

The term "foodie". Seriously, the next jerk to use that stupid word is gonna get some doggie poopy in their facie.

[emdasher]

I had a job interview recently (not bragging). In the waiting room, I heard the receptionist calling people back for second interviews, as I was waiting for my first.

Ugh.

[John Junk 2.0]

The term "foodie". Seriously, the next jerk to use that stupid word is gonna get some doggie poopy in their facie.

Ha Ha

[erika]

I hate the goddamn rats in the alley behind my house.

[andrew in philadelphia]

i hate the creeps who take the inside seat on a city bus and use the outside one as a resting place for their bags - literally forcing you to beg them for the privelage of sitting down after a hard night on the job.

i hate that creep alex jones.

[Scot]

we live up the street from a couple of buffalo wing purveyors and i cannot express the level of hatred i feel for those buffalo wing fans who feel compelled to whore the sidewalk up with discarded chicken bones.

a, because it's littering. i mean, what happened to civic pride?

and b, because our dog spots them before we do, and usually manages to swallow them before we can urge her not to. this resulted in a $500+ emergency vet bill ...

oh, hate.

[Shaggy 2 Grote]

I actually mentioned guys who litter chicken wings in a play once, Scot.  An apocalypse has happened and the character talks about how he used to hate those guys, but he finds a stash of discarded wings with meat still on them.  Let's hope it doesn't come true!

I hate my stompy fuckin' upstairs neighbor.

[Scot]

is it possible for me to lay eyes on that play?

[Shaggy 2 Grote]

Sure, PM me and I'll email you a .pdf.  It's getting published in '09, though.

[Stupornaut]

i hate the creeps who take the inside seat on a city bus and use the outside one as a resting place for their bags - literally forcing you to beg them for the privelage of sitting down after a hard night on the job.

On a similar note, I hate the creeps that sit down next to you in an aisle seat and then don't move to their own empty aisle seat when the bus becomes less crowded. I also hate it when you need to get off at your stop, and the doorknob sitting next to you in the aisle seat doesn't actually stand up, but simply swivels so their legs are in the aisle and you have to kind of scooch by them just to get out. Fine, get a face full of my ass, then.

[Emily]

Not only do I not hate these, I almost think they call for a new thread where people can field some of them. I'd like to see answers to:

Why do women like soup? Is it for perceived health benefits?

Because you can drink soup and most women are too lazy to use a spoon.

If one gets a personal e-mail from a very famous or important person, such as the president, or the queen of England, or the Pope, or Paul McCartney, can that e-mail have monetary value? I guess not. It's just an electronic transmission on a screen. There's no original. There's no way to buy or sell it. Seems a shame tho.

You could charge people to come over and look at your screen.

Why do all of the deli guys and food cart guys call me "Boss"?
I would leave it up to the answering FOT whether they want to assume the questioner was Springsteen. 

Because you're the boss of the sandwich / food cart. You tell them what to put in it.

I live in Washington, D.C., and we have very long escalators coming out of the Metro. If I grabbed the handrail when I first step onto the escalator and did not let go until I was at the top, my body would be almost prostrate across the steps. As I go higher on the escalator, I have to readjust the hand that is grabbing the rubber handrail. Why can't the companies that make escalators sync the steps and the handrails so that they go the same speed?

Two different companies make the escalator. One company just makes the hand rail and another makes the steps. Due to lack of standards and lack of interoperability sometimes they don't work at all (this is why you sometimes have to walk up/down a stalled one)

If you were on a boat, what signs do sharks give if they are hungry and will attack versus if they just want to swim around the boat?

If the shark is going to attack, you'll hear the Jaws music.

How can personal coaches justify coaching athletes who are much better than they ever were? If they know so much about how to win, why aren't they competing?

Because knowing is half the battle. That's why they invented teamwork.

Can an average person not in politics get a pardon from the president of the United States? (Possession of forged instrument, October of 1989.)

Please pardon my corny replies.

[cutout]

When album credits refer to vocals as "Vox".

[iAmBaronVonTito]

when you tell people you're vegetarian and they ask, "so do you eat chicken?" or "what about fish...do you eat fish?"
or even better, "well then, what kind of meat do you eat?" and the cherry on top, "oh, so does that mean you dont drink milk or eat cheese?"

[Andy]

the only follow up question to "I'm a vegetarian" should be "What's your problem?"