Art Students, Please Bathe

[Julie]

Come on, Julie.  I'm sure that you always go to the bathroom armed with a book.  Hell, I keep the complete short stories of Saki in there at all times just in case.

By the way, try putting camphor on those pimples of yours.  It works wonders.

You got me! I have a whole stack of books in the bathroom. I don't think I could read that yodeling history book anywhere else.

[Julie]

I'm so greasy and pimply that I love the way that stuff dries me right up. Unlike Grandpa's Wonder Pine Tar Soap, which also clears up the nasty chest rashes and those icky bumps I get all over my neck, it smells really good. Plus, after I eat ice-cream and am doomed to spending a few hours in the bathroom, the bottle is fun to read.

will you marry me?

This is really sudden. I suppose if you'll pay for my divorce lawyer and sign a contract promising to supply me with 4-7 banana splits per day, I'll think about it. How much money do you make? Will we ever have to be in the same room together?

[John Junk 2.0]

The  student in question is a young woman without dread locks.  She has close-cropped hair.  She's not even a hippy really.  It's possible I caught her on a bad day.
 
There are a few white people with dred locks.  One is a really tall music student with red hair who plays cello and makes like fifth rate "actionist" paintings by throwing paint all over found canvases.  And he walks around barefoot all day.  This guy used to date the "I know this isn't what you wanted to do after grad school" girl, who also smelled really terrible.  She actually literally asks me when I'm going to quit my job because, now that she's graduated, she actually wants my job.  This would be satisfying as poetic justice except that it's very irritating to have someone you hate asking you when you're going to leave your job so they can have it whenever you happen to bump into them.

There's a girl with dred locks but she's actually a pretty well adjusted person.  This is one of the few students I've ever really sincerely yelled at for smoking weed on campus because I was very concerned that she was getting mixed up in the wrong crowd.  Most of the other heshers on campus don't really have any potential except for as charismatic junkies anyway (which could actually really get you places in the art world I suppose...) She seems to be back among the semi-responsible now.

There was an actual African American with dred locks for awhile, and that guy was also of the living-in-the-studio variety.  Actually this guy's story is kinda sad because he really couldn't afford to live anywhere else and now he can't afford to go to the school. It's also sad because he actually has legitimate artistic talent, but he's also a bit of a thief and smokes too much pot and tells elaborate lies whenever you try to confront him about it.  I can see him not actually getting anywhere, but he could be an excellent draughtsman.

...That's the latest edition of Junk's Art School Confidential.  More to come I'm sure.

[Patrick]

john, i feel your pain. 

with my students i have to remind them all the time to keep their shoes on, so as not to step on a push pin or something more dangerous.   a few years ago i had one student that was opposed to bathing, her feet where jet black, and would from time to time show up to class whithout shoes.  even better, i once had to ask this student during class to put back on her shirt.  yikes, it was awkward for everyone involved. 

[moonshake]

JJ, can you post JPEGs?

[John Junk 2.0]

john, i feel your pain. 

with my students i have to remind them all the time to keep their shoes on, so as not to step on a push pin or something more dangerous.   a few years ago i had one student that was opposed to bathing, her feet where jet black, and would from time to time show up to class whithout shoes.  even better, i once had to ask this student during class to put back on her shirt.  yikes, it was awkward for everyone involved. 

Yes, I remember from Page 1!  I appreciate the empathy.  Black feet is pretty frikkin' bad.  I hear the red-headed dude doesn't believe in shoes.  A lot of these students end up living in their studios (which I'm supposed to explicitly forbid and tacitly tolerate, I guess...)  All but the most psychologically grounded students that attempt this usually end up in a downward spiral that ends up with what I can only describe as marijuana addiction and extremely poor personal hygiene.

And no, I will not post jpegs.

[senorcorazon]

john, i feel your pain. 

with my students i have to remind them all the time to keep their shoes on, so as not to step on a push pin or something more dangerous.   a few years ago i had one student that was opposed to bathing, her feet where jet black, and would from time to time show up to class whithout shoes.  even better, i once had to ask this student during class to put back on her shirt.  yikes, it was awkward for everyone involved. 

Yes, I remember from Page 1!  I appreciate the empathy.  Black feet is pretty frikkin' bad.  I hear the red-headed dude doesn't believe in shoes.  A lot of these students end up living in their studios (which I'm supposed to explicitly forbid and tacitly tolerate, I guess...)  All but the most psychologically grounded students that attempt this usually end up in a downward spiral that ends up with what I can only describe as marijuana addiction and extremely poor personal hygiene.

And no, I will not post jpegs.

Aww, you've got your own personal Bushwick...er... East Williamsburg. Throw in some bed bugs and terrible openings every Thursday and you've got yourself New York. Maybe also a pinch of "man, I want to go live in Berlin, where it's REALLY happening."

[Shaggy 2 Grote]

I was trying to remember whether I had a student who smelled so bad I tried to get him to drop the course, but I was getting two memories mixed up.  I once had an intermittently stinky student whom I would try to dodge on his bad days, but what I was really thinking of was an audience member at my play that just ran in DC.  At a preview during last August's heat wave, some mutant theater buff was sitting in my seat, and ordinarily I'd be cool about it, but he smelled so bad that I made him give up the seat just to spare all the people in that section.  And to spare myself, I must admit, because he wound up stinking another part of the theater, albeit one with fewer people sitting in it.

[John Junk 2.0]

Actually, we do have terrible openings every Thursday.

[Julie]

I had a student at the shopping mall college where I taught who had the worst attitude about himself. He wasn't that smart, but I don't think he was stupid, either. I spent a lot of extra time trying to help him, but he didn't get the connection between effort and learning. Anyway, he also had serious personal hygeine issues. I thought his neck was really hairy, but one day I noticed that it was just dirt and grease that had built up. And he had that incredibly unclean smell that takes months to achieve.

[emma]

I go to nerd high school! It's less hippie-dirty and more lack-of-knowledge-about-how-to-groom-yourself dirty. I think something like 75% of the guys here have teen-staches, which are probably the grossest non-dirt thing you can have on your face. Also popular: Wearing the same pair of sweatpants all week.

Everyone's really really good at math, though.

[AllisonLeGnome]

My friend just started art school and already wants to transfer.

[buffcoat]

One of my goals for college was to bathe every single day.  I met that goal.

[AllisonLeGnome]

I've really been enjoying how easy it is to shower before class every single morning. I don't know why it's different from home (where I was always a night showerer), but it seems to be.

[iAmBaronVonTito]

there is a VERY small percentage of people who exist that can go without showering for days- no stink.  unfortunately, none of them are the people who choose to act on the liberty of not bathing.