Judging Presidents Based Solely On Their Portraits

[Wes]

The purpose of this thread is to, as the title states, judge the Presidents based solely on their portraits. Please try to ignore anything you may already know or think you know about the President in question and express only what their portrait says to you about him/her.

Don't feel limited by these, but here are some characteristics and questions you may wish to consider: Does the person look "presidential" to you? Could this person be elected today if they looked like they did in this portrait? What's up with that hair? What are your feelings on this President's facial hair choices? What about the clothes? Does this President, again based solely on their looks in the provided portrait, seem like someone who would be a Good President or Evil President?

James K. Polk
11th President of the United States

I'll start us off on this one.

-Polk was the first President with a mullet. This was probably a daring choice in his day, and would be now as well. I think his advisors today would make him cut it, but he probably could have won an election with that hair in the late '80s into the mid '90s.

-No facial hair for Polk. Big mistake, if you ask me. A Greg Popovich style beard would be a huge upgrade for this guy.

-It's hard to tell from the way he's sitting, but he seems like he's in pretty good shape and maybe has a stealth six-pack going on there. But what's with the neck brace? He looks like some guy sitting in court, pretending to have whiplash after a fake car accident. Not trustworthy at all.

-Does he look presidential? Obviously, this question is open to interpretation, and I hope we can explore this issue as we go along. My gut feeling? He doesn't look very presidential, but has the air of a solid Vice President.

-Good President or Evil President? I'm seeing a lot of Malcolm McDowell in him. And I'm talking Tank Girl/remake of Fantasy Island-era Malcolm McDowell. Evil all the way.

[Trembling Eagle]

nice choker
or cravat

[Sarah]

Wes, I will be content to hear how you judge each of the presidents based solely on his portrait. 

[<<<<<]

I'm with you.  This guy is total vice presidential material.

He has one of the better names though.  No Rutherford B. Hayes, mind you, but a decent name nonetheless.

[yesno]

James Garfield was a leading figure in German romanticism.

[namethebats]

Zachary Taylor, our 12th President



I thought of three people when I saw this picture: Mel Brooks, George Kennedy and Robert Pollard. His governing style is ramshackle but ambitious. Ultimately, his enthusiasm leads him to tackle too many projects; when that fails, he's prone to say "What the hell, let's send the Army out somewhere and see what happens." He has a temperamental streak (putting the British ambassador in a headlock) but is a decent enough guy. Not evil, but incompetent.*

To get elected nowadays, he'd have to look less disheveled. The hair's too wild, the cravat is sloppy. He looks like a member of the Decemberists after the encore.

* I swear, I didn't have any thoughts of George Bush until the final sentence.

[samir]

Warren G. Harding
29th President of the U.S.

- Looks like some dude on 'Law and Order'.
- No facial hair at all. This was a man that believed in grooming.
- Dark eyebrows, white hair.
- The head looks turned at an uncomfortable angle in relation to the collar.
- Conveys more of an "Associate Justice of the Supreme Court" vibe than President.
- Jowls!

[Trembling Eagle]

was Harding the first modern suit coat?

It's fun to watch these as the mens jacket evolves


Perhaps far into the future it will be a lapel-less job like what the leaders in the subcontinent wear

[Emily]

I think he has a little bit of a Salieri thing going on - though slightly less decrepit.  Maybe that neck brace is hiding the remnants of a botched suicide attempt. Polk knew in his heart he was really a VP (#2) and he saw it every time he looked in the mirror. He was probably riddled with guilt for having deceived America and for taking the #1 slot.

[iAmBaronVonTito]

Vice President is right, Wes.  that was very accurate.
Samir: ditto for Associate Justice of the Supreme Court.






-Charles A. Arthur was the 21st president.  His tight, short, uneventful haircut shows how serious of a president he probably was.  Too serious for my blood.

-The mustache meets beard wings make it obvious he took himself too seriously.  A mustache alone would have been appropriate and to his advantage (especially in appealing to the lower classes).

-His face appears heavy, but his girth stops at the neck.  He can't help that's how God made him.  His body shape is a pear and pears are sweet, going well with nuts in any dish.  It's a versatile fruit that's extremely underestimated.  

-Does he look presidential?  He looks like a congressman.

-I see a president with the best intentions but poor execution.  I call, Good President.  

[masterofsparks]

Rutherford B. Hayes
19th President

-Was the subject of a song by 80s Ohio alternative band Great Plains
-Appears to have wielded a great deal of fashion influence on The Band
-Rumored to be related to Nathaniel Buckner

[<<<<<]

This thread delivers!

[Emily]

-Looks a little like Roberts Blossom (Home Alone)





Sorry! Last time I play the these-2-people-sorta-look-alike game in this Presidential thread!

[jbissell]

James Buchanan, #15


-Something about his long head with the partially disheveled hair suggests science teacher to me

-For some reason I thought of John Cleese when I saw his picture

-The way he puckers his lips suggests a love of mischief

[erika]

Van Buren looks like the type of guy who likes to kick small dogs.

Also, I'd imagine he's terribly lactose intolerant and has a "sensitive gut".