Best Show jokes you have used in real life.

[Paul DePhiladelphia]

I used to make fun of my friend who said "How dare you!" saying that was a phrase only women and gay men use.

Dude, you are pretty bad at making fun of people.

hehe I know. I tend to not do it much.

Even worse if any of your friends are gay men and/or ladies!

I told my lesbian friend and she replied with a forceful "HOW DARE YOU!?"

I've tried to incorperate the use of "why?" like Jon.
I carry a booksack with me to work.
My coworker: "What do you keep in your booksack?"
Me: "Guns and drugs, why?"
I'm as casual as Jon yet.

Also I say "oh jeepers, sorry" a lot.
And my friend laughed really hard when I called him "wildly unfunny."

[Wes]

Jokes. I hate jokes.

[mahgeetah]

"Dum-dum" has entered my lexicon in a big way.

I also tell the story about Paul Stanley claiming to make people forget about their miserable lives. In the same Paul Stanley voice that Tim uses, of course.

[DoodleJump!]

"Dum-dum" has entered my lexicon in a big way.

I also tell the story about Paul Stanley claiming to make people forget about their miserable lives. In the same Paul Stanley voice that Tim uses, of course.

....Tim?

[jbissell]

My co-worker was talking to me about The Hangover and I unintentionally referred to it as The Handover. He was confused.

[Paul DePhiladelphia]

My co-worker was talking to me about The Hangover and I unintentionally referred to it as The Handover. He was confused.

Most of these lead to confusion. Oh oh oh! I almost forgot. I have used the Andy Milanakis thing a few times with great success. Once when a friend brought up her love of Pretty Woman I filled her in on the remake.
I also used that elevator joke Tom told a few time. Damn I am totally unoriginal.

[amiright??]

When discussing the Obama swearing incident with a co-worker, I referred to him as "our toilet-mouthed president."

When we had Jonathan Goldstein on our show, he called Howard Chacowitz a "toilet mouth."

[mahgeetah]

"Dum-dum" has entered my lexicon in a big way.

I also tell the story about Paul Stanley claiming to make people forget about their miserable lives. In the same Paul Stanley voice that Tim uses, of course.

....Tim?

Yeah, you don't know Tim? He's funny. You should check out his show some time.

[Paul DePhiladelphia]

"Dum-dum" has entered my lexicon in a big way.

I also tell the story about Paul Stanley claiming to make people forget about their miserable lives. In the same Paul Stanley voice that Tim uses, of course.

....Tim?

Yeah, you don't know Tim? He's funny. You should check out his show some time.

I love making comments like this! Topic change: 'Best Show jokes you have used in real life' thread jokes that you have used in real life. Me and my friend on MIrc:
Me: I gotta go get ready for wnork.
Him: What's wnork?
Me: Obviously I meant nork.

[Senator Gothman (D-OR)]

Was it a Best Show rant about tourists who walk down a busy sidewalk three, four, five abreast so's you can't get by 'em? 'Cause I ran into a gaggle of thems the other night, just a bunch of gals out on the town cloggin' sidewalks while I am left to grumbling under my breath, "Hey, this isn't Sex in the City."

If it is NOT a Best Show rant, then I APOLOGIZE, alright?? I stole it from somewheres else.

[Paul DePhiladelphia]

Was it a Best Show rant about tourists who walk down a busy sidewalk three, four, five abreast so's you can't get by 'em? 'Cause I ran into a gaggle of thems the other night, just a bunch of gals out on the town cloggin' sidewalks while I am left to grumbling under my breath, "Hey, this isn't Sex in the City."

If it is NOT a Best Show rant, then I APOLOGIZE, alright?? I stole it from somewheres else.

It was. Maybe a creepapedia entry.

[scratchbomb]

I don't think I've cribbed jokes, per se. But I am one of those people who will repeat routines, verbatim, to people to try and convince them how good the show is.

But I do use the word "creep" as a matter of course now, whereas I almost never used it before I listened to the show.

[fonpr]

Holy Molie

And I don't even know what it means!

[Ike]

i've used "Reagan '84" a few times...when it was sensible to do so.  i don't know if that counts as a "joke", but i chuckled.  

I used this in class the other day.  "He 'Reagan 84'd him'" were my exact words.

Crickets.....

[Joe Rogaine]

Jokes. I hate jokes.

I don't hate all jokes but i wouldn't blanket these as jokes, but i don't really know what you would call them.